Apart
by Ilovepi
Summary: Tonks and Remus finally admit that they like each other...a week before Remus is forced to leave on an important mission. Continues through their problems and those of the whole wizarding world in OotP. Mostly Tonks POV.
1. The Order of the Phoenix

_Disclaimer: Once upon a time, there was a British lady by the name of JK Rowling who made a lot of money on some books and isn't me and I don't own her books. The End.

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It hit me suddenly in the middle of an Order meeting. The thought, I suppose, had been slowly growing for weeks, but it wasn't until I glanced down at the pad I was supposed to be taking notes on and saw his name doodled absently in the center did I realize that I had a huge crush on Remus Lupin.

That particular meeting was about the giants. Dumbledore was hopeful—he had sent many phenomenal gifts with Hagrid and Madame Maxime. Others were more skeptical, but having a sum total of zero experience with giants, I zoned out, leaving my subconscious mind to doodle. I stared at the result.

I hadn't had a serious relationship in years. There were a few I had considered, but really I hadn't had a steady guy since…Hogwarts. Weird. There had been that crush on Kingsley earlier, and bumbling Dawlish had asked me out…I blushed at the memory. That date had been an utter failure.

So Remus, huh? I pondered on the mysteries of my heart. He was certainly attractive…intelligent…funny…creative…

I absently noted people pushing their chairs back and collecting papers. I continued gazing at his name. It was a terribly nice name.

"Coming, Tonks?" I glanced up—it was him. I hurriedly hid the pad away.

"Yeah…"

I stayed for dinner for the first time that night and quickly joined the extensive list of worshippers of Molly's food. Molly, on the other hand, was obviously attempting to set me up with Bill. It wasn't clear to me what she had against Fleur—the girl was clearly intelligent and adored her fiancé. The female Weasley's obviously disliked her.

Veela's charms had never seemed particularly impressive to me. Granted, I couldn't make myself _quite_ that enchanting, but unlike the average girl, I never agonized over my looks since I could change them fairly easily.

In any case, Molly maneuvered me to be next to Bill. _I_ maneuvered me to be across from Remus. The conversation, naturally, was varied and interesting. Over the course of the meal, we discussed mummies, weird death customs all over the world, the Stonehenge, ancient wizardry, witch-hunting, Halloween and pumpkins, to name just a few.

"The only way to eat pumpkin pie is with several inches of whipped cream on top," I declared.

"I've never really liked pumpkin pie," Remus admitted, "but several inches of whipped cream sounds fabulous."

"Clearly you've never had my mum's pumpkin pie," Bill remarked.

"Bill, if Molly had cooked it, even brussels sprouts would be delicious," I said.

"I love brussels sprouts!" Bill exclaimed.

Remus and I stared in disbelief at him.

"You're kidding, right?" Remus asked.

Bill shook his head. "I really do, Mum makes great ones, all buttery and yummy."

"Case in point," I told Remus.

"You win," he grinned.

* * *

After that, I started staying around more and more. I hadn't had a close circle of friends since I had graduated Hogwarts, but the Order became my entire social life as well as being the most important organization in magical Britain, including the Ministry. Every day, I fell more and more for the dark brown of Remus Lupin's eyes, the way that one loose lock of hair curled on his forehead, his laugh, his smile…

I liked pretty much everyone. Not Snape, though, the slimy git. Somehow I always had the feeling that when I said something, he was only listening to humor me, and whatever I said was basically worthless. And it's not my fault I'm clumsy! It's not really necessary for him to look at me so disdainfully every time I trip…but the rest of the people are great! True, it's weird having Professor—I mean, Minerva—as a colleague. But she was always my favorite teacher.

Fred and George were also a real kick, in spite of their mother's constant yelling at them. Even after the most depressing meetings (we _really _didn't have enough support) the twins could always be counted on for a laugh. I really connected with Ginny. She's a great girl, bright and brave and at least as outspoken as I am. Hermione, also, was always good for a nice conversation.

As the summer dragged on, Remus and I talked more and more. Often it was about something entirely unimportant, like our favorite fairy tales (I've always loved _The Fountain of Fair Fortune_, he likes _The Fabulous Adventures of the Wizard, the Horse and the Frog) _or whether the rain has a purpose in life, as well as a cappella music, which we both love.

One day in August, in the middle of a meeting on different ways to convince people that Voldemort had indeed returned, an urgent owl from Arthur Weasley flew in, informing us that Harry James Potter was summoned to a hearing for the illegal use of underage magic. Dumbledore left hurriedly, presumably to sort things out at the Ministry. The room was instantly in an uproar.

"Is he okay?" Molly, Sirius, and Remus asked more or less together.

"Why would 'e _do_ something like zat?!?" Fleur exclaimed.

"Where was his guard?" several people were asking.

"He must have had a reason, my godson wouldn't do that just for the heck of it! Something must have attacked him!" Sirius shouted over the din at the blonde witch.

"You might have done something like that 'just for the heck of it' too," Snape observed drily.

"Mundungus was his guard," Remus said worriedly.

Molly's lips tightened.

Silence fell as another owl flew in and deposited another letter in the center of the table. Molly reached for it and said through clenched teeth, "That awful man left Harry alone to pick up an order of _cauldron bottoms _and the dear boy was attacked by dementors. Harry's okay…but he preformed underage magic to ward them off and is being called in for a hearing."

Needless to say, the room was once again in uproar. Sirius quickly wrote a letter to the kid. The meeting collapsed into discussion of the idiocy of the Ministry, Dung, and teenage boys. Molly, still looking quite fierce, served some food around.

Dumbledore returned an hour later.

"The time has come to remove Mr. Potter from his current location," he announced, unintentionally echoing the general consensus that had been reached in his absence.

"Here, here," Sirius muttered, Molly and Remus nodding in agreement.

"The Floo network is being watched, and Harry has not yet learned how to Apparate. That leaves us with limited options," continued Dumbledore.

"Portkey?" someone suggested dubiously.

"No," Kingsley said in that deep voice of his. "The Ministry is waiting for a chance to jump on Albus. An unauthorized Portkey would be the perfect excuse."

"Brooms," Remus said. "Harry's an excellent flyer."

"Indeed," Dumbldore nodded. "Quite what I was thinking myself. Now, we need a guard for him."

At least half the room volunteered.

"Sirius, you know you can't," Dumbledore said softly, ignoring Snape's snort. "Let me see…Remus, certainly, we'll need someone Harry trusts…Nymphadora, you too…"

"Tonks," I muttered. Remus grinned at me.

"Kingsley, Hestia, Dedalus, Elphias, Emmeline and let's see…ah, Sturgis…and I think we'll have Mad-Eye too, even if he isn't here…yes, that seems quite appropriate. Nymphadora, I leave it to you to get Harry's relations out of the house while you are present as they are less than fond of wizards. If you'll excuse me, I have a date to keep with Mundungus Fletcher." He left.

Between Dumbledore and Molly, I was certainly glad that I was not the miscreant.

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_More coming soon! Reviews -- high self esteem-- more chapters faster!!_


	2. Operation Spring Potter

_Pop quiz: Does Harry Potter belong to me?_

_Answer: No. Are you surprised?_

_There's more Rowling than I usually use in this chapter. It just happened that way. _

I arrived at Grimmauld Place at noon the next morning to find Hermione in tears, Ron as stony-faced as his father had been since Percy-the-prat had left, and Sirius moping, each one with fingers bleeding from what looked like an owl peck, but my instinct was to disbelieve that since wizards had spent centuries training owls not to peck.

Soon, it became quite clear why the three were so moody, not to mention bleeding. Harry Potter's owl had arrived in the night begging for answers and had apparently been told to keep pecking the recipients until answers were given. Somehow, I had to pity the boy all alone and admire his grit, but still…the marks on Ron's finger were extremely deep, and Hermione couldn't stop worrying about how angry he would be. _What kind of friend would tell his owl to hurt his best friends, not to mention scare said best friends with his anger? _I wondered. But I found the answer inside me. _One who sees his friends as lying and holding out on him._ I was rather excited—ok, bloody excited—to meet this boy.

We continued planning for the plan to "spring Potter" as Mad-Eye so eloquently put it. Really, I love that old guy. He introduced me to the Order, after all, not to mention helping me as a young Auror…and with my utter klutziness, I needed the help.

Ron, Fred, George, and Arthur were very patient in answering the numerous questions about the layout of the house, as they had been in it most recently. (We wanted to Apparate directly into the house, but not into any walls!)They also answered questions about the character of Harry's relatives. It was Hermione who finally suggested the best way to get them out of the house—appealing to their vanity. (Ron was all in favor of transfiguring them all into pigs, while Fred and George wanted to continue the effect of their candies on Harry's cousin, who was apparently similar to a pig.) To my surprise, it was Hagrid who gave the final shine to my plan.

"They've got a real nice lawn, them Muggles do," Hagrid said in memory. "Very nice, if yeh've got a taste for that kinder plain green."

I grinned. "What if we send them a letter saying that they've won a Best-Kept-Lawn Competition?"

Ginny smirked. "Dear Mr and Mrs Dursley of Number 4 Privet Drive," she began as if reading from an imaginary letter in front of her. "We are pleased to inform you that you have won the All-Suburban Best-Kept Lawn Competition…"

And so the letter was written and mailed—by Muggle post. The next day, Operation Spring Potter was put into action.

The nine of us gathered outside Grimmauld Place, Mad-Eye cheerfully going over our plans. "Remember, the boy's the most important thing. Your lives are nothing compared to his. Do not stop protecting him if others are attacked." And so on. I rolled my eyes at Remus, who grinned back as Moody continued his lecture.

"And remember," he finished in absolute unison with me, mouthing his final words, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!"

Remus broke into a violent coughing fit to cover up his laughter. I was rather pleased with myself._ But hey, if Mad-Eye didn't want to be made fun of, he shouldn't be so predictable! _I assured myself, snorting a moment later. Mad-Eye Moody made a career out of being unpredictable.

We apparated together into Little Whinging. I promptly broke a glass on the table.

I looked at Remus. Remus looked at me. We both looked at everyone who was looking at everyone else.

"The stairs," Kingsley pointed out. "George said his room was at the top of them"

We were just beginning to discuss who, if anyone, should go upstairs, when Harry Potter himself appeared at the top of them.

"Lower your wand, boy, before you take someone's eye out," Mad-Eye growled.

This was, unsurprisingly, not reassuring to the black-haired boy at the top of the stairs. "Professor Moody?" he asked nervously.

"I don't know so much about _Professor, _never got around to much teaching, did I? Get down here, we want to see you properly." Mad-Eye was not famous for his manners.

Harry didn't move.

"It's all right, Harry. We've come to take you away," Remus added from next to me, correctly assuming that Harry needed to hear the voice of someone he knew and trusted.

"Professor Lupin? Is that you?" he called.

I rolled my eyes. Voices are all well and good, but when it comes to really knowing who someone is… "Why are we all standing in the dark?" I asked rhetorically. I'm good at the rhetorical question thing. "_Lumos."_ Instantly, there was light. I always love that spell. It's so terribly useful. I got my first full look at the Boy Who Lived.

His hair was extremely messy, his eyes were green, and the scar on his forehead was exactly the way I had always heard. He looked quite shocked, but not displeased. Nervous and brave, I decided. All in all, he looked exactly like I thought he would, and I said so.

"Yeah, I see what you mean, Remus. He looks exactly like James," Kingsley said.

"Except his eyes. Lily's eyes."

Never having met Lily or James, I couldn't agree, but as that was how I had heard the boy described a dozen times, I imagined he must be rather tired of it. For the millionth time, I was glad that I had no one cooing over me saying I looked like this aunt or that cousin, because I could change how I looked.

Meanwhile, Mad-Eye and Remus were ascertaining that Harry was, in fact, himself. I wasn't particularly paying attention until I caught a bit of Mad-Eye's statement.

"…Better wizards than you have lost a buttock, you know!"

"Who do you know who's lost a buttock?" I asked interestedly. That would be quite an accident.

"Never you mind," Mad-Eye barked, stomping off, muttering to himself. I rolled my eyes, a bad move with someone who can see behind their back. Oh well.

Remus began introducing people. The warm fuzzy feeling I got when he gestured towards me first evaporated as he introduced me as Nymphadora. Ugh. He corrected himself fairly quickly, with only _minimal _prodding from me.

I looked around the place. Everything was sparkly clean, more like a hotel than a home. Not to mention the lousy décor. There were several pictures of what at first appeared to be a small whale, and on closer inspection I deduced that this was Harry's fat cousin, Dudley.

Harry's room, when I went up to help him pack, was much homier. His clothes were all over the floor, books and papers were scattered on a desk, and his bed was not only unmade but a few of his blankets were on the floor. The mirror above the desk distracted me for a minute. I was wearing my hair purple that day, and I didn't like it at all. Purple is a very pretty color, but my hair looks much better pink. I fixed it, to Harry's astonishment.

"I'm a Metamorphamagus," I explained, aware that Harry appeared quite jealous. Who wouldn't be? It's awesome!

While the messiness gave me the warm feeling of being home, it was quite impractical for our purposes of packing. I attempted one of Mom's spells and managed to get most of his stuff into the trunk. Not very neatly, but it went in and that's the important thing, right?

I was only distracted from my goal by the sight of the most beautiful broomstick I have ever seen. Now, I'm too clumsy to be as good a flyer as Harry himself was (at least according to Remus) but somehow I had the feeling I'd be good on that thing.

Harry grinned. Quidditch apparently was the way to his heart.

Soon we were gone.

* * *

I was glad to arrive at Grimmauld Place in time for the meeting, not to mention getting out of the cold. Harry pouted, but followed Molly upstairs.

Only a few minutes into the meeting, we heard faint shouts from upstairs. Sirius started in surprise and began to move towards the door.

"Leave him be, Sirius." It was Dumbledore. "Let him get his anger out and stop asking questions now. Don't tell him more than he needs to know."

Sirius sat back down, unhappy. Remus patted his arm and whispered something I couldn't hear. The scowl on Sirius' face lessened a little, but didn't disappear.

The meeting, however, continued. We wanted to establish safe houses in other countries, and add hidden rooms charmed against _Homenum Revelio_ to already existent houses in Britain. Bill, having tons of practice in _searching_ for hidden rooms while tomb-hunting in Egypt, took charge of the drawings and our meeting continued, punctuated by yells from upstairs.

Dinner, as usual, was excellent. Harry, as predicted, had blown off his steam and asked no questions. Sirius, however, started the fire again, and the room was in an uproar the rest of the night.

_Hey all, sorry for the amount of canon in this one. Don't worry, the interesting stuff comes next and the more reviews I get, the faster my Muse starts talking._


	3. The Assignment

_Guess what guess what guess what guess what?!??!!!??_

…_I STILL don't own it. But I did get it up way faster than usual. So pretty please, review!!  
_

Life continued. People continued to disappear, the Ministry continued to be as thick-headed as a brick wall and I continued to like Remus. Actually, I liked him more and more. We talked constantly, in and out of Grimmauld Place. We started to get annoyed looks from other members for whispering during meetings. And we were a _we…_not _Remus and Tonks_ but _us!_

One night, we were so engaged in our conversation, Remus came over to my flat, where I made him hot chocolate and we kept talking. After that, he came over often. I began to wonder if maybe, just maybe, he liked me back.

His wit, intelligence and most of all, caring, simply increased my love. And then I realized that I had to tell him how I felt. How being near him made my heart flutter, how his smile made me lose my breath, how his eyes made me feel like I was drowning in happiness.

He wasn't in the next meeting. It was the full moon, and he wasn't up to it. I worried, but Sirius told me that Remus had asked that no one be allowed to see him when he was weak. I felt excluded. Didn't he know that I wouldn't think less of him? But he was sensitive, I knew that. Still, I worried.

Remus was there the next night, though. The meeting was about making allies. Hagrid had already been sent to the giants, and Mundungus was handling the thieves. Firenze had already tried the centaurs, and Bill was working on the goblins. Now Dumbledore wanted to contact the werewolves, and there was only one person for that job.

"Most werewolves ignore the wizarding world," Remus was saying.

"But they could still see that Voldemort—" insert universal flinching—"threatens them as much as the rest of us," Sirius argued.

"I'm not so sure," Kingsley said. "Most werewolves who remove themselves do so because of the way they were treated under the Ministry. After all, Voldemort—" flinching again—"has been treating Greyback all right."

"As much as he treats anyone," Molly snorted.

"Still, we need someone to try and convince them," Dumbledore said. "I'm confident there are other good werewolves out there, only hiding because, as Kingsley said, the Ministry did nothing good for them."

"Too true," Remus murmured to me, and I smiled ruefully at him.

"We have hopes of changing that for everyone," Dumbledore went on, "and I think we have a chance. Remus, you'll leave in a week. Any objections, anyone?"

_Yes._ "No," we all said.

_One week. One, singular, lone, solitary, freaking week, _I thought. Then, _what if he never comes back and he never knows how I feel?_ Instantly, I buried that thought and refused to think about it at all. But I knew I had to tell him.

* * *

We were unusually silent as we walked out of Grimmauld Place. It occurred to me how like its name the place was—it was truly a grim old place.

"Are you coming over tonight?" I asked, trying to keep the tremble out of my voice.

He stopped, startled. "Do you not want me to?"

"No, I do," I said hastily. "I was just wondering…if you had stuff to do or something," I mumbled.

Remus looked at me, that curl on his forehead getting into his eyes a bit. I longed to push it away; it looked so uncomfortable…

"I probably do have stuff to do," he admitted. I looked at my toes. "But I'd rather spend time with you, Tonks." He threw up his hands in exhasperation. "It feels so weird to be calling you by your surname," he complained. "It's so formal. I hate being formal."

I couldn't help smiling, but still… "You may _not_ call me Nymphadora, Remus. No, no, and NO!"

He sighed. "I can't keep calling you _Tonks._"

"Why not?" I demanded.

"It just…doesn't feel right."

"Why not?" I asked, softer.

He shrugged, looking anywhere but at me. My heart started pounding. I was sure it was so loud, he could hear it. But he didn't seem to notice.

"Let's get home," I managed.

He gripped my arm, even though after the number of times he had come to my flat, Side-Along Apparation was no longer necessary. The heat of his hand went through my light jacket and warmed my arm. A shiver went up my spine that had nothing to do with the chill.

We turned, and after the familiar squeezing sensation, appeared on my front step. I reached for my key, unlocked the door, walked in. Remus followed.

_Tell him._ The voice in the back of my head was quite insistent.

Remus walked over to the window, looking out at the view. It wasn't much of a view—some trees, the sky. He was looking at the moon, I realized. It was just past full.

"Remus—" I began.

"Yeah?"

"I…"

"What?" He turned and looked at me. My courage failed.

"Never mind."

"If you say so," he replied, his eyes piercing me and I was sure he could see right through me.

I cursed my cowardly self and glanced in the mirror. My hair was long and blond. Closing my eyes, I concentrated and turned it short and pink.

"Don't," he said, then appeared as though he wanted to bite his tongue.

"What?" I asked.

"I just….I just like it long," he mumbled. Was he actually…_blushing?_ But why would he blush? Unless…my heart did something strange and I lost my breath. Did _he_ like _me?_

"You only had to say so," I said, surprised that I could manage to get a sound out of my throat at all. My hair lengthened to the middle of my back, and I wondered why this conversation was so much for awkward than the dozen others we'd had in this same spot.

He watched as my hair grew, not losing its bright pink color. I watched him. Suddenly, he shook himself and turned back to the window.

_Tell him._

"Remus?"

"Yeah?"

"I…I kinda like you."

His shoulders tensed and my stomach dropped. My heart was beating twenty times as fast as it should have been, and he said nothing.

Finally, spoken flatly. "Do you mean what I think you mean?"

"Romantically? Wotcher, Remus. Wake up." I waved at him, no good since he still wasn't looking at me. "_Yes_, Remus. _Romantically_."

He turned around. The grin on his face was about twenty meters long, and answered for him.

"Me?"

"How many times do I need to tell you?"

He blushed again. "About fifty more times might do the trick." He swallowed. "And right back at you."

Now I was grinning ridiculously too. I hugged him tightly, and he squeezed back. He smelled good.

I could have stood there, hugging, forever. But he let go. He was shaking his head. My stomach dropped again.

"We can't do this," he said. My stomach dropped farther, and I pushed him away.

"Tonks, I—"

"Can't do this," I finished flatly. _Be strong_, I told myself.

"No, I…" He looked miserable. "I'm a _werewolf_, goddamit! It's not safe!"

"Safe?" I said incredulously. "I'm in the Order of the Phoenix! I fight the most dangerous wizard in the world! And you're telling me that _you're_ not _safe?!?"_

"Well…I'm not," he said. "And…I'm going away in a week. Who knows when I'll be back? At least not till Christmas and I can't leave you attached to me for months. That's just not fair to you."

I paused. Long distance relationships _do_ suck.

"It's not that I don't like you," he continued. "I do. I really do." He shook his head. "Can I please not call you Tonks? It really doesn't work."

"Well, if you really feel that way, I suppose you can call me _God,_" I snapped.

He laughed, then stopped abruptly when he saw my face.

"I _like_ you," he said again. My heart, again, skipped a beat, and I cursed my hormones.

I looked at the floor. I felt his eyes on me. "Maybe I should go," he said.

I didn't say anything. He sighed. His warm fingers touched my cheek. Startled, I looked up and met his eyes. "We'll talk more tomorrow, dear," he said. I nodded. I heard his footsteps tapping across the floor, softer on the rug. The door opened, closed. My eyes began to fill.

He was right, though. It would be stupid and painful for us to start a relationship only to be apart for months.

That didn't make it less painful now.


	4. An Explantion of Sorts

_If you recognize it, it's not mine._

I cried myself to sleep that night. Why hadn't I seen that coming? Of course Remus would be too freaking _self-righteous_ to allow himself any happiness. He'd spent too long, I was sure, convincing himself that no one would ever like him and he couldn't be a burden on anyone with his lycanthropy that he'd forgotten what a wonderful person he was. I caught myself making these excuses for him, and had to remind myself how much he'd hurt me.

_He likes me, though! He likes me!_ In spite of it all, the mantra played over and over in my mind. I tried to turn it off, failed, tried, failed. _He likes me! He called me "dear." He like me!_

_He hurt me, _I silently screamed back. Tossing and turning, the argument lasted most of the night, until I summoned my dreamless sleep potion reserved for emergencies, and dropped blissfully off to sleep around three.

* * *

Mad-Eye Moody had been denounced by the _Daily _Prophet for being a paranoid lunatic, but nevertheless the Ministry could not fire the old hero. Instead, they pushed him off of active duty to train new Aurors—including me. He had, bless him, scheduled the next month for Concealment and Disguise, and excused me from having to attend. I was free all morning, so I could go to the Order meeting.

The next morning's meeting was scheduled for ten. I woke up at nine forty-seven, judging by my very accurate digital clock. (Okay, I use a Muggle clock! Get over it. I could never figure out those planet things anyway.) Luckily, I hadn't drunk the whole potion—usually it's good for nine straight hours of sleep.

I pulled on some clothes, glancing in the mirror. Ew. My long, pink locks were a disaster. No need to keep them long, anyway. Just because Remus "_likes it better that way_." Jerk. In seconds, my hair was short and I was out the door.

* * *

I knocked on the door of Grimmauld Place. Harry, of all people, opened it for me.

"Wotcher, Harry!" I said brightly.

"Hello, Tonks," he responded, dully.

"What's up?" I asked.

He shrugged. I waited.

"My trial…" he mumbled, finally. "It's coming up. What if they expel me?"

"Don't worry," I answered, patting him on the shoulder. "You've got Dumbledore fighting for you. He'll see justice."

Harry shrugged again. He was really quite worried.

"Gotta go," I said, wishing I didn't. "Hang in there, Harry."

He nodded and I headed for the kitchen, stubbing my toe on someone's boots in the process.

As usual, the kitchen smelled wonderful.

"Wotcher, everyone," I called. _Act normal, _I instructed myself. The other teenagers were sitting around the table, finishing up, cleaning up from their breakfast. The adults around the table appeared to be just starting.

"Oh, hello, Tonks dear," Molly called from the stove. "Care for some eggs?"

"I'd love some. Anything I can do to help?" I asked, already picking up an empty plate from the table. Remus tried not to look at me.

"No, no, it's quite all right," she said, no doubt remembering the huge plate of chicken I had dropped two nights before.

I put the plate in the sink, proud of myself for not breaking it.

"Come, sit down," Sirius called, clearly oblivious to Remus tensing next to him.

There was an empty seat next to him. Remus, I mean. Fred and George were on Sirius' other side, and Ron and Hermione were across from them. Charlie was across from Sirius. The empty seats were in front of or next to the person I most wanted to avoid.

Sometimes I think God hates me. _Act normal._ I went over to Molly.

"Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" I asked, feeling his eyes on my back.

"Yes, dear, I'm fine." She smiled at me. "Actually, can you get Bill? He's upstairs, I need his help with…" she trailed off, blushing a little. _Molly, Attempt # 32, Mission: Getting Tonks and Bill together._

"Of course," I grinned, and left the kitchen. I could feel Remus' eyes on my back, no doubt wondering why I was going along with Molly's mission. _Just as well. Make him jealous._ I had complained to him earlier about these attempts.

Bill was indeed upstairs. He was snogging his fiancé, a perfectly normal pastime in my book.

"Ahem." They looked up, startled, blushing.

"Er…hi, Tonks," Bill said weakly.

"Wotcher, Bill, Fleur," I said. "Molly wants you downstairs."

They rolled their eyes in unison. "She never lets us 'ave time togezer," Fleur complained, tossing those silvery blond locks of hers.

"We'll be right down," Bill said.

I grinned, waved, and headed back downstairs, meeting Ron, Hermione, and Harry on their way up. I hurried down, just in time to seize one of the abandoned seats next to Charlie. Remus sighed. I glanced sharply at him. He turned away, blushing. Seconds later, Minerva sat down next to me. Bill and Fleur appeared at the door, holding hands. A pot clanged loudly—Molly's passive-aggressive response.

The room began filling up. Fleur, giving me a curious look, took the seat next to Remus. Trust a veela to figure it out.

Dumbledore swept in. Molly gave Fred and George a look, and they, grumbling, stomped out. She immediately started charming the door against those Extendable Ears of the twins.

"It's remarkable the trust you place in your children, Molly," Kingsley remarked.

"I _know_ them," she retorted.

We had to admit that was fair, and the meeting began.

* * *

Sometime in the middle of the meeting, I felt something jab my knee. I pulled back, and was poked again. Kicking out, my foot encountered nothing. I reached down. There was a folded piece of paper insistently poking my knee.

I looked at Remus, who looked away the moment he saw me looking. Sighing, I grabbed the paper. He looked relieved.

Just to spite him, I slipped the paper into my pocket and assumed a look of rapt attention towards Minerva, who was speaking.

"The teachers, of course, will patrol the hallways as always. We may have some difficulties with the new Ministry appointee, but there's no help for that. Two competent Order members will be stationed in Hogsmeade at all times, preferably an Auror whenever we can spare them." She inclined her head towards Kingsley and me.

Kingsley said, "That may be more often than we previously hoped. I am well on my way to convincing Fudge that Hogwarts needs extra defense just in case Sirius here wants to visit Harry again."

"Which he most certainly will not," Dumbledore added sharply.

"Come on, a visit might lend some credibility to Kingsley," Sirius protested.

"While landing you in Azkaban." Dumbledore turned to Minerva, apparently considering the subject closed.

Sirius glowered and fidgeted restlessly in his chair. I knew how much he hated being cooped up in this old place. So did Remus, who put a conciliatory hand on Sirius' shoulder and whispered something to him. My favorite relative shrugged Remus' hand away and returned to scowling and everyone.

Remus looked hurt. I smirked, only to find him looking at me looking at him. I jerked away, blushing.

* * *

Later, in my shared office at the Ministry, I read the note.

_Dear To-, _it began, crossed out. There were a few more tries at what to call me. Finally, he found a beginning.

_Dear,_

_First, a preface: I am being utterly honest here. If you disagree, okay, fine, do whatever you want. Just please tell me how you feel. Also, I'd rather this stayed between us. And I'm telling you all of this because I trust you, and I feel like I can talk to you about anything._

_See, I'm scared. I like you. You're just an awesome person to hang out with. I know we kind of said this before, but I wanted to say it again. It's only that I've had exactly two previous relationships, and both ended terribly. I don't want to get hurt again. I'm a werewolf—how can anything end well? _

_Here are my main worries:_

_First, I _am_ a werewolf. Yeah, I know you don't care. But you should. I'm dangerous. If something goes wrong with my potion, I could kill you unthinkingly. Or bite you, and make you like I am. You don't want that, I promise. You would be miserable, and it would be my fault._

_Second, I'm a decade and a half older than you. Do you really want someone like me? You're young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Being with a werewolf could seriously damage your career, your social life, your everything. I don't want you to sacrifice all that for me. I'm not worth it._

_And of course, I'm going away for who-knows-how-long to dwell among my kind. I can't leave you attached to someone who may never come back. We can't do that to each other. It just wouldn't be fair._

_I'll miss you terribly. I hope you know that. We can owl a bit, I don't know how much. Until I leave, I still want to hang out with you and talk. A lot._

_Yours,_

_Remus_

Aren't you proud of me? Three chapters in a week!! It's amazing! So please review and tell me what you think!


	5. Dinner With Remus

_Dear Remus, _

_Meet me at my house at six. Bring dinner. _

_Tonks_

I examined my hastily scribbled note. Slightly rude, but who cares? He hurt me, and I was mad at him. No point in pretending otherwise. Barnaby, my owl, had just left when the office door opened and my two officemates, Christine and Allie, walked in from Mad-Eye's class, chatting.

"I don't care what Moody says, he's mad anyway," Allie was saying, playing with her blond, corkscrew curls. "You-Know-Who can't be back—he died trying to kill Harry Potter, everyone knows that."

"I'm not saying he's back, Allie," Christine responded. "It's just that the _Daily Prophet_ keeps changing its mind. I don't know what to believe. For a decade, the Potter boy was the Boy-who-lived, and now he's the Boy-who-just-wants-attention. And Dumbledore—"

Allie snorted. "_Dumbledore_," she said in scathing tones. "The old man's crazy. You know they say he had the Flamel's Sorcerer's Stone in the school? Where any attempt to get it from the numerous people who wanted it could harm the kids? I don't know why they let him keep the school, let alone any influence."

"The man's brilliant, Allie. Crazy, maybe, but brilliant, definitely. He defeated Grindlewald, not to mention discovering the sixteen uses of dragon's blood, or his Order of Merlin, First class—"

"He doesn't actually have that anymore," I said.

They looked at me in surprise. I shrugged. "It was in the _Prophet_ today—Fudge revoked it for unclear reasons. If you ask me, he's jealous."

"Who?" Christine asked, slipping into her padded chair at her desk across the room.

"Fudge."

They exchanged a glance. "What do you think, Tonks?" Allie asked. "Is You-Know-Who back?"

I bit my lip. "I don't know," I lied, "but we all went to Hogwarts, and Dumbledore doesn't seem like the type to only do this to make trouble for the Ministry. I mean, Dumbledore turned down the job, remember? Back when I was, I don't know, ten, and what's-his-name retired, everyone wanted Dumbledore. If he didn't want it then, why would he want it now?"

Allie blinked. How that one passed all those exams is beyond me.

Christine gave me a curious look. "Not to be pushy, Tonks, or anything, but do you mind toning down the hair? That pink is terribly distracting."

"Oops," I said, mindful of her deliberate topic change. "Is that any better?"

She glanced up at me, and burst out laughing. Allie looked over and giggled too. Who wouldn't? My hair was neon green, with some blue polka-dots.

"Just a bit," she grinned. "But seriously, I'd like to finish these stupid forms."

"What are you filling out?" I asked.

She made a face. "Forms, questions, affidavit, the whole works, on that crazy crystal ball thief we nabbed last week. To think that I've spent years imagining my first real assignment—I never imagined all the paperwork that went with it!"

Allie and I grinned in understanding. I looked down at the paperwork I was filling out about a billywigs smuggler I was going to hunt down next week. Okay, so I get billywigs are illegal, but it's still hard to believe that the Ministry spends so much effort on this when there are insane murderers loose. Oh well. It's my job.

We got to work.

* * *

I got home at 5:14 and began cleaning up a bit. Remus had seen my house in its usual messy state, but this was different.

By 5:32, my scattered clothes were safely in my room, the books were on the bookshelf, the couple of dirty plates sitting around the kitchen were washed and put in the cabinets, my missing necklace had been discovered in between couch cushions and was now safely on my neck, the floor was swept, and I stood in front of my closet, agonizing over what to wear.

I hadn't specified fancy, but I didn't want to look like a wreck. Nor did I want to be in an evening gown if Remus showed up in his every day wear. Finally, I settled on a nice pair of fancy pants, and a really nice blouse that went perfectly with my newly found necklace.

Now, I'm sure that I'm not the only woman who agonizes over what dress to wear. I'm sure many even worry about how to wear their hair. But I'm the only woman I know who agonizes over _what _hair to wear.

_He likes it long._

_Why do I care? I'm mad at him!_

_So? You still like him , don't you?_

_Well, duh._

_And you want this to work out?_

_Well, yeah._

_So what harm can you do by wearing the hair long?!? He likes it that way!_

_I don't want him to think I've forgiven him! I haven't!_

In the end, I wore it brown, soft and a little past my shoulders. It was 5:51, and there was a knock at the door.

With one last glance at the mirror, I hurried toward the door.

Remus grinned nervously at me. I knew I had worn exactly the right outfit. His shirt, though button-down and a beautiful shade of light blue, was short sleeves, and he wore khakis. It looked new, and I felt a momentary surge of guilt. _Remus doesn't have that much money. Probably he can't afford a new outfit, let alone a nice dinner. Which this isn't. _In one hand, he had a pizza box, in the other, a shopping bag. _Not quite the dinner I expected,_ I thought.

"Er…hi," he said.

"Wotcher," I replied automatically.

"I brought pizza," he said, hopefully, looking up at me (he was on the stairs) with those beautiful puppy dog eyes of his.

_Pizza isn't exactly romantic, _I reminded myself.

"So I see," I answered, crossing my arms and leaning on the doorframe. "What kind?"

"Half broccoli and onion, half plain," he recited. "But I also brought M&M's," he added, lifting up the shopping bag.

I felt my frown disappearing. "How did you—" I started to ask, but then remembered a conversation we'd had at least three weeks ago. I shook my head, but stepped back and ushered him into my house.

Pizza _can_ be romantic.

* * *

We sat and ate for a while, talking and laughing like we had been for weeks. My couch is very comfortable, and the pizza was delicious. Remus even found that he liked pizza and M&M's, in spite of his previous misgivings. But then, Remus loves anything chocolate.

When the meal was over, the awkwardness started. It was innocent enough at first—I reached for some more M&M's at the same time he did. Our hands brushed, and I shivered.

"Are you cold?" he asked immediately.

I shrugged. Scooting a little closer on the couch, he took my hands in his big, warm ones. He rubbed them and massaged them a bit. When he finished, he didn't let go of my hand. I could smell his cologne. It smelled good. I leaned my head on his shoulder and thought about how wonderful life could be.

_He's going away in a week, you know. You won't see him for months. Are you sure it's wise to start this now?_

God, I hate my brain. But the idiotic voice in my head was, as usual, right.

"You're right," I told him.

"Hmm?" He looked up at me.

"Getting into a relationship before you go away…"

"Right." Maybe it was my imagination, but he sounded disappointed.

"I mean, it would just be stupid. Long distance relationships suck, trust me."

"Oh? Have you had one?" he asked, a trifle jealously, I thought.

"Mhm. It sucked, trust me."

He looked down at me, raised an eyebrow. "Is that all you're going to say?"

"Oh," I teased, "I didn't know you were interested."

"So?"

"Oh, it was dumb. Some American touring London—an important diplomat's kid. Anyway, I was in Auror training and I was assigned to protect him." I snorted, remembering the wide blue eyes and golden curls that had me smitten from the start, in spite of the lack of brains.

"So you dated him. Great protection"

"Hey! I broke up with him a month after he went home. Without his charming eyes nearby, there was nothing keeping me bound." I snuggled a little closer.

"Do you think that would happen with us?" His voice was serious. "Without my charming eyes, you'd stop liking me?"

I swallowed. "I don't think so."

"Why not?" He turned his head to look at me. I sat up a bit.

"Well, for one thing, it's not just your admittedly charming eyes that I like about you," I said slowly. _Time for a topic change_. "But what about you?"

"What?"

"Those mysterious terrible relationships you hinted at in your letter." I felt his shoulder tense beneath my head. "You don't have to talk about it," I said, playing with his fingers.

He sighed. "It's okay. It was just lousy…" he sighed again. "Sabrina was first. A couple of friends set us up—Sirius and a girlfriend of his, actually."

"Hold on, when was this?" I asked.

"Our seventh year," he said. I said nothing, but thought about how sad it was that this wonderful man had had two relationships…ever, for something that wasn't his fault.

"We got along great for a bit," he went on. "I'm not sure what we talked about, but we spent a lot of time together. Anyway, at one point, I decided it was only fair to tell her about my furry little problem."

I counted slowly to twenty, and then said gently, "And?"

"She left me. Told me I was a monster who should be locked up and not allowed around innocent girls like her." He spoke in a monotone.

"Oh, Remus," I sighed. Ouch. What a total bitch. How dare she hurt my Remus like that!

"Not your fault," he said shortly. "The other one was the opposite. She was a genius. I met her in the library—finally, someone who didn't make fun of me for being a bookworm, as even my best friends had done. We spent a lot of time talking about Arithmancy and all these big philosophical problems. Or rather, I spent a lot of time listening to her major philosophical ideas." His voice was bitter. "After the fiasco with Sabrina, I was terrified to tell her my secret. Big mistake. She figured it out and confronted me, claiming that _maybe_ if I had told her, she would be able to trust me, but I hadn't, so she couldn't and in general made me feel like I was five. I tried to explain, but then I realized…"

"What did you realize?" I asked.

"That I didn't really want her to understand, because I didn't want her to forgive me. I suddenly realized that she had _always_ talked down to me, and I didn't want to spend my life with someone like that, so I stopped trying to explain, and that was that."

"I'm not like that, you know," I said softly.

"I know," he told me, and put his arm around my shoulder. I snuggled closer. We sat like that for several minutes, silently. I started to fall asleep.

"You're right," he said finally.

"Huh?" I was a little drowsy.

"I can't call you Nymphadora," he clarified.

"No," I agreed. "You can't."

"For one thing, I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face."

I twisted around to see if he was kidding. Nope, he couldn't keep a straight face.

"I mean, _Nymphadora?_" he said incredulously. "It's ridiculous! Who on earth would name their kid _Nymphadora?_ It's not even a name!"

"Hey!" I said. "Not cool! No making fun of my name!"

"Not even—" he began, but was interrupted when I began tickling him. "Hey!" He giggled. "Not cool!"

He tickled me back. I happen to be extremely ticklish. Laughing crazily, we had a whole huge tickle-battle, until we finally collapsed, exhausted.

He was lying face-up on the couch, and I was lying, arms crossed, on top of his chest.

"With the war, lycanthropy, mission and age difference, could this get any more complicated?" he asked.

I answered without hesitation. "Yes." _If you kissed me._

Again, I had that odd feeling that he was thinking the same thing as me.

"I thought so," he replied. There was a silence, and it dawned on both of us how we were sitting. I started to sit up, but he stopped me. "Complications," he said quietly, reaching up to tuck a stray piece of hair back behind my ear, "aren't necessarily terrible."

"No," I agreed, a trifle breathlessly. "Not…necessarily."

"Good." His finger traced my cheek. I closed my eyes, and felt his lips on mine.

The kiss slowly turned into a genuine snog, and I was in heaven. Of course, that obnoxious inner voice of mine had to interfere.

_What happened to, "starting a relationship now would be a bad idea"?_

I returned to my senses, and pulled back. Remus was staring into my eyes.

"You are so beautiful," he said quietly.

I blushed. "I think you'd better go," I said, staring at the floor.

He sat up, sliding me off him. "I…T—I'm sorry, I…" he stammered.

"Just go," I said again. "I…I need time to think, I didn't _want _to get involved now. This is _not_ a good time for me, but I bloody like you!"

Remus blinked at me. "I'll see you tomorrow?" he asked hesitantly.

"There's a meeting at seven. I'll come at six. Please, I need to think…I'll walk you to the door." My thoughts tumbled over one another incoherently.

He nodded. I went to the door; he followed. I opened it; he stepped out.

"Remus?"

He turned around, hopefully. Before I could change my mind, I kissed him on the cheek.

"Bye," I said.

He looked at me, that piercing stare again that makes me feel like he sees right through me.

"Bye."

I watched him hurry down the steps. He gave me one last, bemused look, and I swear I heard him mutter, "I'll never understand her," before Apparating away.

…_So, I'm thinking of doing a Remus POV for the next one. Yes or no? Review and tell me!_


	6. A Serious Conversation

_This chapter is dedicated to Blue-Eyed-Lily, and all the other awesome people who reviewed.

* * *

_

Remus returned to Grimmauld Place tired and furious at himself with the taste of her kiss still on his lips. _Why did I kiss her? _he berated himself. _She'll really hate me for dragging this on after we agreed not to…Merlin's beard, I'm a werewolf!! She can't love a _werewolf_. She's too perfect…_but here he lost his train of thought remembering her teasing smile and the way she had fit perfectly next to him, the questioning look in her eyes and the way, in spite of her changing appearances, each was beautiful and her expressions easily read. _Stop it,_ he instructed himself firmly. _I can't fantasize about her…She's not for me._

He trudged wearily up three flights of stairs and down two hallways to his room, only to find Sirius in his bed.

"What are _you _doing here?" he asked, startled.

"Now, where have you been?" Sirius asked in the old Marauder tradition of answering a question with a question.

"Nowhere."

Sirius snorted. "Yeah, right. You've been gone for—" he glanced at his watch—"approximately four hours. _And _this isn't the first time you've been out late at night. Explain, please."

"Order business," Remus said.

"Uh huh. Liar." Sirius' tone was casual.

"What did I do to deserve that?"

"Well, lied, for one thing," Sirius said, amused.

Remus shrugged. "There is that, I suppose."

"So, come on, what were you doing?" Sirius asked again. He even used his signature puppy-dog look, quite effective after all the time he had spent as a dog.

Remus sighed and sat down on his bed, pushing his friend's feet aside. He began taking off his shoes. Sirius, with typical patience, waited approximately two seconds before asking again.

"I don't want to talk about it," Remus said shortly.

"Um, since when does that matter?" Sirius inquired curiously.

_True, it never mattered whether one of us wanted to talk about it or not, _Remus remembered, thinking of James refusing to talk about his first date with Lily, or Sirius about his first kiss, and Peter's crushes…No one's reluctance to talk had ever stopped the others.

He didn't say anything. Sirius eyed him up and down, wondering what could cause his old friend to clam up so much. Suddenly, he noticed something odd.

"Hey…that's a new shirt!" Sirius accused. His eyes narrowed. "You didn't go to see a _girl_, did you?"

Remus blushed.

"You did!" Sirius yelped. "Little Remy has a girlfriend! Remy has a girlfriend! Remy has a girlfriend," he sang.

"Honestly, Sirius, how old _are _you?" Remus mumbled, cursing the redness of his cheeks.

"Thirty-seven and three quarters!"

"If it weren't for the grey hairs, I wouldn't believe the thirty part," the werewolf teased.

"Grey hairs!" Sirius shrieked, running over to the mirror to inspect his black mane. He turned slowly. "I don't have any grey hairs," he said slowly.

"Yes, you do," Remus disagreed.

"Where?" He turned back to the mirror quickly. Remus surreptitiously pointed his wand at his friend's head.

"Right there," he said, pointing to several grey hairs.

"EEK!!!" Sirius screamed, searching his reflection. He caught sight of Remus smirking in the background. Several thoughts went through his head fast and he turned around to face his old friend. "We weren't talking about me," Sirius said calmly, completely recovered from his outburst. "We were talking about you. Now, tell me about this girl. Is she someone I know?"

"No," Remus lied.

"Really? Is she in the Order?"

"No."

"She _is_? It's not…" Sirius stopped dead. "It's not my _cousin_, is it?"

"No."

"You and little Nymphie…wow…how cute!" Sirius squealed.

Remus sighed. He'd never been able to lie well, especially to his best friends.

"So what's up with you two? Tell all!" Sirius ordered.

"I like her."

"And?"

"…she sort of likes me…"

"Sort of? Nymphie doesn't 'sort of' do anything. So she likes you," Sirius commented thoughtfully.

"I can't imagine why," Remus said honestly.

Sirius blinked at him. "Either you're being sarcastic, or your self-esteem is significantly lower than healthy, and _way _below normal Marauder level."

"Normal Marauder level is _way _above healthy," Remus remarked.

Sirius stared. "Well, duh, but you seriously don't know what there is to like about you?"

Remus shrugged. "What's to want, romantically?" he asked. "I'm a werewolf! And I'm thirteen years older than her."

His friend shook his head in disbelief. "You're a Marauder!" he exclaimed. "So what if you're a werewolf? It's just once a month and with Wolfbane, you're harmless!"

"Anything could happen," the werewolf argued. "It would be an accident, and I would feel guilty forever for hurting her."

Sirius looked his friend up and down, then said gently, sitting down on the bed next to Remus, "It's not what Sabrina said, is it?"

"No…"

"You really can't lie," Sirius remarked. "But seriously, it was twenty years ago. Don't you think it's time to let that go?"

Remus said nothing. Then, "Anyway, I'm thirteen years older than her."

"So? She likes you! And you really can't figure out why?"

Remus looked at the floor.

"Do you need me to spell it out for you?"

Remus shrugged again.

"Fine, then," Sirius announced. "Not to swell your head any—well, actually, yes to swell your head since it's so small—you're a Marauder, which is to say you're amazingly awesome, not to mention intelligent, interesting, kind, you have a strong moral conduct, you fight for what you believe in…"

"I'm not so sure about all of those," Remus replied, "but in any case, those are qualities for a good friend, not a romantic relationship. She must be confusing the two."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Remus, trust me, Nymphie wouldn't confuse friendship with romance. She knows better than that. And besides, you didn't let me finish. You're incredibly loyal, care deeply about everyone close to you and you have nice eyes."

_She did say she liked my eyes, _Remus thought. "It doesn't matter now," he said aloud.

"Why? What happened?" Sirius asked.

Remus sighed. "To make a long story short, we told each other our feelings, I told her we couldn't get involved because I'm a werewolf and I'm going away, and she didn't say anything, so I left…"

"Idiot."

"Then I sent her a really long letter explaining about Sabrina and stuff and how I feel, and she invited me for dinner tonight…" he trailed off.

"And?"

"It was really nice…we talked and laughed and hung out, like we had before—"

"Have been?" Sirius interrupted. "How long have you been going over there?"

Remus shrugged. "A couple weeks. But it wasn't romantic or anything until last night."

"Mhm…and when did you realize you liked her?" Sirius asked.

"Last week."

Sirius waited.

"She was saying good-bye when I left," Remus said quietly. "I turned back to wave, and there she was, framed in the doorway, smiling at me, with her hair waving in the wind and I suddenly knew that I always wanted her there to say bye to me when I was leaving, and there to greet me when I came home."

Sirius uncharacteristically said nothing.

Remus punched his pillow. "But I spoiled it all!" he raged.

"What happened?"

"We agreed not to start anything now, because I'm going away and all, and then I, like a complete fool, I…I kissed her."

Sirius looked at him sympathetically. "So you think she'll be mad at you for telling her no and then acting yes?"

Remus shook his head. "I _know_ she's mad. She kicked me out."

Sirius whistled softly. "Did she give you any hope?" he asked.

"Well…" Remus said, his face brightening a bit, "she kissed my cheek good-bye."

"Ah, that's a good sign. And did she say when you can see her?"

"Tomorrow," Remus responded, some hope dawning on his face. "At the meeting."

* * *

The next morning, Remus worked on figuring out where he'd be on his trip, as well as packing and trying to cut down on the amount of magical paraphernalia in his usual routine. That is, he _tried_ to work on the above, but couldn't concentrate and went to talk with Sirius and the twins about their joke shop plans.

"Remus, dear, shouldn't you be preparing?" Molly asked, coming into the room. "And you boys should be helping clean," she told the twins and Sirius, who had hastily hidden the plans.

Remus nodded, glad he wasn't being dragged into the cleaning crew, and hurried back to his room.

The day went swiftly by. At six, he heard a knock on the door and hurried down. "I'll get it," he called.

She was standing on the front stoop, smiling nervously at him.

"Wotcher, Remus," she said with a typical grin. Her hair was long and a deep blue, almost black.

He gestured her in, where she promptly knocked over the ugly umbrella stand, setting Mrs. Black off again.

"BLOOD TRAITORS!! LETTING WEREWOLVES AND MUDBLOODS AND FILTH INTO THE NOBLE HOUSE OF MY FOREBEARERS!" she shrieked. Catching sight of Nymph—Tonks—_her, _Mrs. Black redoubled her screams. "YOU NO GOOD DAUGHTER OF MY TRAITOR NEICE, DEFILING THE PURE BLOOD OF OUR ANCIENT HOUSE!!"

Remus struggled to close the curtain. Sirius, racing down the stairs, joined him and they managed to shut her up. The heir of the "most noble house" looked in surprise at his cousin, then at his friend, and at his cousin again, smirking.

Molly hurried into the entrance way, attracted by the noise. "Oh, Tonks, dear, you're early, but we're happy to have you. I think Bill's upstairs—"

"Actually, I was just…" she glanced towards Remus for help.

"She was going to help me pack," he improvised. "I'm never sure what I'll need, she's much better at this sort of thing than I am."

"Oh, I see." Molly looked faintly disappointed. "How nice! Now do excuse me, I have work to do…" She hurried off.

"Well, I guess I'll just leave you two to your…er…_packing_," Sirius announced, and went off to go find Fred and George and perhaps an Extendable Ear.

Remus glared after his friend for a moment, then turned to the woman he loved. "Shall we?" he said, gesturing towards the stairs. They walked up together.

"Why was Sirius looking at us like that?" she asked.

"Well, he…er…figured things out a bit," Remus replied awkwardly, knowing she probably didn't want people to know.

"And you confirmed it?" she questioned.

"You know I can't lie, especially not to him," Remus said.

She grinned and his heart skipped a beat. "Here we are," he said, a little breathlessly, pushing the door open.

"You do need help packing," she commented, glancing around his room. A mostly empty suitcase, which he would later shrink, sat in the middle. He shrugged.

"Sirius calls you Nymphie," he said suddenly.

"Only when he wants to be hexed," she replied, her sharp blue eyes flashing. "I sincerely hope you don't intend to follow his example."

Remus looked at her standing there, so beautiful. "You're not so unlike a nymph yourself, you know?"

She crossed her arms, a bad sign. "Oh?" she said.

"Yes…beautiful…slender…enchanting…" he whispered. She looked at him, her face for once unreadable. "Lovely…graceful…"he went on. She snorted and he stopped.

"You almost had me there," she remarked. "Until graceful."

He coloured. "Okay, well, not that, but I meant all the other stuff, honestly I did—"

"Uh huh. Now, shh, and let me talk."

He shut up, watching her face. She paced in front of him. He sat slowly onto the bed.

"I've been thinking," she said abruptly. "I like you. You like me. Our problems are a) your ridiculously low self-esteem, b) your impending departure and c) the age difference, correct?"

Not daring to interrupt her, he nodded. _And that I'm a werewolf_, he thought.

"Frankly, I think you're a heck of a lot cooler than you think you are, so I'm going to ignore your self-esteem. I like you. You better believe that. And what's more, I don't give a damn about the age difference. It's you I like, not some random dude my age. Besides, older guys are more mature." She paused for breath. "The way I see it, item B is our biggest problem. As we previously agreed, starting a long distance relationship is not a good idea," she continued. He looked at the floor, sure that she was angry at him for kissing her.

"So here's my suggestion." she announced. "We agree not to start anything permanent now, and when you return, we'll see how things are. In the meantime…" she blushed. "In the meantime, we have a week to…" she waved her hand eloquently, sitting down next to him.

He raised his head and looked at her questioningly. "A week to what?" he asked.

She blushed again. "Honestly, Remus, for someone so intelligent, you can be remarkably dense," she told him, and kissed him firmly on the mouth.

* * *

Upstairs, Sirius Black sat, tightly holding one end of a long flesh-colored string, a wide grin across his face.

* * *

_An apology in advance: Tomorrow I return to the real world and thus this will be updated significantly less frequently. My sincere regrets._


	7. Trying to Ignore Impending Departure

_I have some news that will really surprise you. Here goes…I don't own Harry Potter. Shocked much?_

_On another note, you may have noticed that **this story is now T rated.**__ Hope you enjoy it…I ALWAYS enjoy reviews._

The next three days were spent in a whirlwind of work, meetings, and time together. Remus met me at my flat after work each day, and I was getting out early thanks to Mad-Eye's training sessions. We held hands during meetings and meals, eliciting a wink from Fleur—I really ought to get to know her better—and smirks from Sirius, and surprisingly Fred and George. Hermione also gave me a knowing look, and I saw her tap Ginny on the arm. Moments later, they both looked in our direction. I kept my eyes on my plate.

Remus packed, planned and prepared as I worked. The billywigs capture was postponed due to a new lead—some even bigger dealer had been found and we would have an even bigger billywigs bust later.

We talked as we had before, about anything and everything, trying to ignore the looming shadow of his eminent departure. He had taken to calling me 'dear' as he still apparently found my preferred mode of address, aka 'Tonks' too awkward. Perhaps he was right.

"What's it like being able to look like anything you want?" he asked curiously one night, stroking my long, blond, hair.

I looked up at him. "It's not exactly everything," I replied thoughtfully. "I can't be a boy, for instance."

"I'm glad of that," he said softly, leaning down to kiss my forehead. I raised my head up to meet him and he ended up kissing my nose instead.

"Beep," I said.

He looked surprised and kissed my nose again.

"Beep," I beeped.

He laughed and did it again. I beeped obligingly. He kissed my nose—it was a small, button nose today—several more times.

"Beep! Beep! Beepbeepbeepbeep!" I paused for breath, then continued keeping up with his kisses. "Beepbeepbeep! Beep! Beep! Sorry, out of order."

"Awww," he mock-groaned. "How do I recharge?"

I grinned. "You'll have to figure that one out on your own," I teased.

"I suppose I could come up with something," he replied, leaning down to kiss my nose again.

"Sorry, out of—" I began, but he interrupted me neatly by kissing me. His tongue traced my lips and I parted them slightly to let him in.

Several minutes later, he pulled away. I squirmed and reached for him.

"Sorry, dear," he said regretfully. "But this is just more proof that I'm too old for you."

I looked at him questioningly. Trust me, there was nothing wrong with his snogging capabilities.

"That was _killing_ my back," he clarified, grinning.

I laughed. "I can fix that," I told him, pushing him onto his back and leaning on top of him.

This lovely pastime came abruptly to an end minutes or years later when I attempted to roll over, thereby falling off the couch. Remus sat up and laughed. "Only you could pull that off," he managed between what could only be called giggles. Well, they were really more chuckles. Whatever. I stuck my tongue out at him. He grinned again and helped me back into my comfortable, snug position curled up next to him.

"So, besides for a boy, what other limitations do you have?" he asked. I blinked at him. "Being a Metamorphmagus," he clarified, and I remembered what we had been talking about before…well, yeah.

"Age," I replied. "I mean, I can have grey hair, but it's very hard to pull off wrinkles or the actual changing of my body to be older."

He nodded thoughtfully, playing with my silvering hair. "What about younger?" he asked.

I made a face. "Only a little bit and it gives me a headache. And I can't change my height or, sadly, weight at all."

"Well, I like you just the way you are," he said, and looked down at me. My now silver hair caught him off guard. I laughed at the surprised look on his face.

He smiled that beautiful, slow smile of his, gently held my chin in one of his big, rough hands and tilted it up to meet his lips. I responded with a smile of my own and enjoyed the next minutes intensely.

He moved his hand to play with my hair, his fingers knotted in my long, soft locks. I snuggled closer, pressing my body against his lean, muscular one, kissing all the while. His breaths shortened and I could feel his heart beating fast against me. I freed both my hands to hold him tighter. When neither of us could breathe anymore, he released me, breathing hard. He looked at me and in the intensity of that gaze I shivered. "God, I'm going to miss you," he exclaimed, stroking my hair. His hand brushed my breast.

I inhaled sharply and froze. He stopped abruptly. "Dear, I—" He stopped there, too, his cheeks turning red rapidly. My dear, awkward Remus, so clearly inexperienced in such matters, couldn't meet my gaze. This was probably a poor choice, as the down he chose to look to settled somewhere around my midsection.

This time, I took his face firmly in my hands and tilted it so he looked at me. "Remus?" I whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said immediately. "I just, you know—"

"Remus!" He shut up. "We're going to forget that happened," I told him. _I can't let this hurt me._ "The farther we go, the harder this is going to be for me when you leave."

He looked at me again, trying to disguise his disappointment and worry and failing. My heart ached for him, for me, for us, every cell in my body wanting him

_don't don't don't don't_

Two days left. This was it. I might never see him again. Desperately trying to bury that thought, I buried my face in his chest. My Remus smells amazing. He patted my back awkwardly a couple of times, then returned to stroking my hair.

I couldn't help it. I started crying. He hugged me tighter. "Shh," he murmured. "It'll be okay, I promise."

I shook my head, still sobbing into his chest. "Don't," I told him. "You can't promise that. Not with the world the way it is now." I thought of my mother, who never told me stories of her own childhood, and my father, who encountered prejudice throughout his whole career. And Remus, who couldn't help being a werewolf and even the good guys were making him do stuff based on that—this mission, for example.

He sighed. I could feel it as he released the air, his chest sinking, against my cheek. The steady beat of his heart reassured me somewhat.

I sat up and managed to smile. "I got you all wet," I said ruefully, touching the spot on his shirt where my tears had soaked him. His heart beat a bit faster under my fingers.

"I don't mind," he whispered, kissing me gently on the cheek. The tears continued to flow.

He stroked the edge of my cheek with his forefinger. "God, you are so beautiful," he said, half to himself. I smiled through the trickle that refused to end and, tasting salt on my lips, told him what I thought of his appearance.

"Do you really think so?" he asked, sounding a great deal too surprised.

I nodded and snuggled back against him.

Sometime later, I felt his strong arms lifting my off the couch. I heard the creak of my bedroom door and let him put me down onto my unmade bed. Drowsily, I reached for him as he pulled the blankets over me. He held my hand, sitting on the bed. When I woke up, it was morning and he was gone.

**For fear of becoming predictable, I won't ask you to review. It would make me happy if you did, though.**

**Coming next: They say good-bye. (sob)**


	8. Goodbye

_**Sorry for the delay. This is, as promised, their good-bye. I still don't own the Harry Potter cast. The idea for the boxes came from the Fablehaven books.**_

I raced to Grimmauld Place after work on the day he left. I arrived a little above an hour before his scheduled departure time. Remus was sitting in the kitchen when I hurried in, Molly hovering around him like a nervous mother hen. He looked up instantly and met my eyes, a grin nearly splitting his face in two. I felt an answering smile burst onto mine and I promised myself for the hundredth time that I wouldn't cry, wouldn't embarrass him or myself.

"Molly?"

"Yes, Remus dear?" she said, pausing her frantic, frenzied fluttering.

"I 'm just going to go upstairs and check a few things, get my luggage, okay?"

She looked startled. "Oh, if you say so then. I thought you had everything?"

He shrugged awkwardly. "Doesn't hurt to double check," he mumbled.

"I'll help you," I announced brightly, as if it had just occurred to me.

"Oh, good idea," he said, as if that hadn't been what he wanted in the first place. His acting skills, to put it bluntly, suck, and I spotted Sirius hiding a smirk.

"Oh, hello, Tonks," Molly said. "Are you sure that's all you need? Bill--"

"I'm sure we'll be fine, thanks," Remus interjected hastily.

Sirius snorted. "I'm sure you will," he muttered, just loud enough for me to hear. I cast a quick death glare at him before racing up the stairs with Remus just behind.

I threw open his door. The bed was made, the drawers empty, and a small bag that I assumed had an Undetectable Extension charm on it was sitting on the floor. Behind me, Remus shut the door and his lips found mine. His tongue traced my lips and asked for admittance. I let him in gladly, pressing myself closer to his strong chest. Our tongues wrestled and he held me tightly. My heart started beating faster and I lost myself in his embrace. Too soon, a discreet knock interrupted us and we pulled apart regretfully. My lips tingled.

"Yes?" Remus said, a trifle hoarsely.

"Just warning you...you have about ten minutes before you have to leave, and Dumbledore will be here to give you last minute instructions in about three," Sirius informed us regretfully.

Remus squeezed my hand. "Thanks," he replied. "We'll be down soon."

"Okay. I'll leave you to say good-bye," Sirius said, and we heard his exaggerated footsteps down the hall.

I turned back to Remus.

"I have something for you," I told him shakily.

The stricken expression on his face told me instantly he hadn't gotten me anything. He _would_ feel guilty about something like that.

"I'm sorry," he was saying. "I was so busy and--"

I shushed him. "Its okay, Remus. I don't care. Now here's your present." I handed him the small, wooden, box.

He opened it. "It's...ah...empty," he said delicately.

I rolled my eyes. "The box _is_ the present," I told him.

"Oh."

"It shares space with this one." I took an identical box out of my pocket.

"Shares space?" he asked.

"Look." I put a Knut in my box. Another Knut appeared in his.

"That's impossible!" Remus exclaimed. "You can't duplicate money! There must be a million and a half charms against that."

"It's not duplicated," I explained. "Take the Knut out of your box." He did, and it disappeared from mine. "There's only one Knut. It's just in two places at once," I added.

He blinked owlishly at me. "That's awesome!" he grinned. "So we can write each other?"

"I knew you'd figure it out," I said, and the realization that he was leaving hit me again like a brick in my stomach. I swallowed hard to get rid of the large lump in my throat.

He must have read my mind again, because he took my hand and whispered, "Don't worry, dear. I'll come back to you."

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Are you coming?" Sirius called impatiently.

'On our way," Remus called back, picking up the small satchel with a grunt. I giggled. He gave me a black look. "It's a lot heavier than it looks," he said severely.

"Mhm," I agreed. His straight face wavered, steadied, and broke out into a sheepish smile.

"Come on!" Sirius called again.

"We better go," Remus told me regretfully. His soft lips brushed mine once more, but he pulled away, his eyes on me, his hand on the doorknob.

"Yeah," I said, turning away. He opened the door and hit Sirius, who apparently had just been coming to get us—at least that's what he said he was doing.

The three of us walked down stairs. I felt a soft touch brushing my hand lightly. I reached for it and held his strong hand in mine. He squeezed it gently and we approached the small group in the entranceway—Molly, Arthur, Minerva, Kingsley and Snape.

"I see you saw fit to join us," Snape said, silkily sarcastic.

Sirius, behind me, tensed.

"So we did," Remus said heartily.

"Here's your potion," Snape told him, pulling a tightly corked bottle out of his pocket. "It's exceedingly important that you take it because surely you'll join the hunt with the others. If you don't, it's likely you'll join them in their rampages, and we wouldn't want that, would we?" His black eyes glinted.

"No," Remus agreed, "We wouldn't. Thank you." He took the bottle and slipped it into his pocket.

The door swung open. "Good day," Albus Dumbledore said cheerily.

"Come in," Molly urged.

"Just for a moment then," he said and stepped in smartly. "All ready, Remus?"

Remus nodded, reaching surreptitiously for my hand again.

"You have the potion?"

He nodded again.

"Take care of yourself," Albus told him firmly. I squeezed his hand to second that instruction.

"I intend to," Remus said, more for me than him.

"Good. Kingsley, you have the Portkey?"

Kingsley nodded, holding up a grubby, ancient newspaper. "It's due in two minutes," he said.

"Excellent. Remus, I know you will only do your best." Albus came closer to speak directly and only to Remus. I started to turn away but the increased pressure on my hand kept me in place.

"Remember, Remus," Albus told him, "that although some of the people you will be living with are indeed monsters, you are not. Your condition is nothing you can change, but it is not who you are."

"One minute," Kingsley announced.

"Thank you," Remus said sincerely. He turned to everyone. "Well, see you all, I guess."

"Bear hug!" Sirius cried, and pulled Remus into a tight one, all enthusiasm. I could see his face though, and it displayed worry unseen in his body language.

Remus pulled away, hugging and shaking hands with everyone in turn. "Bye, Arthur, Molly. Tell Harry I said bye. Thanks for everything, Kingsley, Severus." Snape nodded.

He turned to me. "This is good-bye, I guess."

I nodded and held him close to me.

"Fifteen seconds," Kingsley said urgently.

"Take care of you," I told him. He squeezed me tightly once more and reached for the Portkey.

"Five. Four. Three," Kingsley counted, looking at his watch. I locked eyes with Remus and he mouthed something. There was a blue flash and my Remus was gone.


	9. I Make a Fool of Myself

I watched him disappear, the taste of his last kiss still lingering in my lips, feeling in my pocket for the secret weapon against falling apart. A solemn silence filled the space Remus had vacated.

I pulled out the bottle and chugged a bit of the potion I saved for occasions like this. Instantly, the world seemed a lot more cheerful.

Sirius put a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?" he muttered.

"Of course," I replied. "Never better."

He looked at me curiously. "No, really."

"Really! I'm great! There's absolutely nothing wrong," I told him with utter sincerity.

He appeared dubious. "Nymphy, are you serious?"

I grinned. "No, you're Sirius!" He stared at me. "Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked.

"I'm still alive," he told me.

"Why wouldn't you be?" I asked, befuddled.

My cousin blinked at me, and, without taking his eyes off my face, called for Molly.

"I think something's wrong with her," he informed her.

Molly put an arm around my shoulder and I gave her a big hug.

"How are you?" she asked.

"Great!" I said again, wondering why they were being so pushy.

"How can you say that?" Sirius exploded. "The man you love just left on an extremely dangerous mission, and you're grinning like a maniac? Either something's wrong or you're an unfeeling bitch whose been putting my best friend on!" He glared at me.

"_That_ is entirely false," I informed him. "Worrying about Remus won't to any one any good, no matter how madly I'm in love with him, or that he might die any time and I wouldn't know about it, so why worry? Quit worrying about me, old boy. It doesn't do you any good either." I patted him on the shoulder. If anything, he looked more concerned than before.

"Oh!" Molly said. "You and Remus, dear! That's _so _cute! You two are absolutely made for each other!"

"Thanks," I grinned. "I quite agree."

"Molly," Sirius said slowly.

"Yes, Sirius?"

"Molly, I just called her Nymphy and she didn't do anything. Then she called me 'old boy'." He sounded like he still couldn't believe what he was saying. I wasn't sure why.

Molly blinked at him. "Are you sure?" she asked. He nodded.

"Euphoria," Snape said drily from behind me. Sirius stiffened, his automatic reaction when Snape was nearby.

"What?" Molly asked absently.

"Euphoria," he said again. "The signs are unmistakable."

"Oh, yeah?" Sirius said. "And why would she take Euphoria?"

"If you don't believe me…" Snape pointed his wand in my direction. "_Accio Euphoria Bottle,_" he said clearly. The bottle flew out of my pocket and into his hand.

"Nicely done," I congratulated him.

Sirius took my arm. "Why don't we go to my room?" he said gently.

"Sounds great!" I cheered.

As we walked away, Sirius looked back over his shoulder. He swallowed. "Thanks," he said to Snape as though the words were stuck in his throat.

Snape raised his eyebrows. "Why, Black, I didn't know you were capable of being grateful," he commented.

"Well, I am, okay?" Sirius said, and pulled me up the stairs. In his room, he grabbed a book from the shelf called _Household Potions and Their Antidotes_. He flipped through it, muttering under his breath. I sat on his bed and hummed off-key.

"Aha!" he announced. "Horseradish!" A few moments later, a small jar floated into the room.

"Nymphy?" he said cautiously.

"Mhm?" I looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Have a bite of this, will you?"

"Sure," I agreed, and took a big bite. The bitter taste shot down my throat and burned my nose. My eyes filled with tears, cleared, and I stared at my cousin.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"If you ever call me Nymphy again, I will murder you."

He breathed a sigh of relief, and I sat still as the memory of the last eight minutes flowed clearly to my brain. The tears overflowed from my eyes.

"I made a bit of a fool of myself," I managed to say.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Why'd you do it?"

I gave him a half smile. "I was worried I'd make a fool of myself," I said.

He tried to disguise his snort as a cough.

"You really love him, don't you?" Sirius asked softly.

I nodded. "Yeah," I said. "I do."

* * *

When I got home that night, I checked my box. It had a small piece of paper saying, "_Arrived safely. Miss you already. Will write more later~R." _Hardly satisfying, but the knot in my stomach eased slightly now that I knew they hadn't killed him immediately. I wrote back, "_Miss you too. Not much to say now. Keep me posted and take care of yourself. 3, me._"

Then I went to bed and woke up in the morning and went to work. Anti-climactic, I know. But overall, the way things were going now, no excitement was good excitement.

At work, there was some excitement. Our billywigs bust was scheduled for the next day, and we practiced hundreds of scenarios for getting our guy. Billywigs, in case you don't know, are small winged bugs with overlarge stings. When stung, you levitate for a while. It's apparently quite addicting, and people get rich marketing them. They are, naturally, illegal as hell.

The man we were going after was named Polonius Guggenmeister, and I had no guilt about destroying his business. Besides for the billywigs, he was also a gambler and a pimp, not like the Ministry cared about those. But there's money in billywigs, so we were going in.

According to plan, we were supposed to Apparate directly to a secluded park where he was scheduled to meet one of our undercover operatives to exchange money for drugs. We knew of several defenses he had up, including wards against Apparating, several stationed accomplices and some very mean dogs. They set up an entire room in the Ministry to exactly resemble the latest view of the park we'd had. Some other aurors played the accomplices and we practiced strategy over and over. My job was to take out two of them. An older Auror named Greg was going for Polonius himself, and Christine unexpectedly was going to take out the other two extras. The whole thing was being a huge deal because Fudge wanted an example of something he was doing right to publish a success story since he hadn't had many of those. Loser.

I attended a meeting that night, achingly missing my seat buddy. Sirius sat with me and we whispered a little, added to the discussion some, but mostly sat and listened. I'm not sure what we were talking about; it went right over my head.

There was another letter that night in the box.

_Dearest,_

_I've joined the pack. I have two weeks to find my place here before the full moon. The leader is a bit odd; I don't know if I'll be able to convince him. I probably can get some of the members though._

_I miss you._

_Remus

* * *

_

Sorry I've been taking so long, but alas, the real world must come first. More to come—for once I actually have a plan for the next few chapters. Please review!


	10. Letters 1

Dear Readers,

No, it's not mine.

Love,

Ilovepi

_Dearest,_

_I'm more or less settled into this camp. I swear the alpha—the leader— is insane. He goes by Fang; don't ask me what his birth name is. The chances of me convincing him that we're the good guys are practically nil—he idolizes Greyback. There are about thirty of us here, outcasts that were thrown out by families or society as a whole. We live in tents or shacks made of wood and mud. We eat the meat we hunt. Don't worry, we do cook it. Mostly. Fang prefers his raw. Says it satisfies his bloodlust while he can't get manflesh. Stop worrying, dear, werewolves don't hurt each other, like real wolves. Unless someone challenges the alpha and we're all properly submissive, he keeps order and no one fights. And no one has any intention of challenging Fang. And I think his stuff about bloodlust is mostly show, to keep his image of the tough guy so no one will challenge him, so don't worry about that either._

_I might have luck with some others around here, though, people who secretly want to be part of the wizarding world and are here because they're accepted here. There's a young cub here—teenager, that is—about Harry's age. His name is Sam and I get the impression that he was bitten not all that long ago. I want to find out his story, get closer with him. Maybe I can convince him Dumbledore truly wants to help. There are others I have hope for too—Mike, an angry twenty-something who advocates petitioning the Ministry in hundreds of different ways to treat us equally and his small group of followers. Very small, only three or four, as most have lost hope of that ever happening, so it's not a very popular position. There is also the opposite party, which Fang belongs to, that wants to start our own society out here, like the centaurs. _

_I miss you terribly. I dreamt of you last night, of your arms around me and your soft lips on mine. I pray that one day that might be the case._

_In the meantime, I remain forever _

_Yours,_

_Remus_

_My dear Remus,_

_ I miss you. I think of you all the time and everything reminds me of you. Stay safe. Don't anger Fang, no matter what Dumbledore wants you to do. _

_ I'm doing okay. We captured a billywigs smuggler this afternoon. He's also a pimp and a gambler, but no one cares about that, since it's the billywigs that make him money. Seriously, You-Know-Who is on the loose, but all Fudge cares about is looking good. That's why they made this such a big deal. Just so Fudge could look like he was doing something right. Loser._

_ The kids returned to school yesterday. Sirius came with us to the station, as Padfoot, of course. I'll miss having them around. Fred and George left me some of their joke stuff to remember them by. At least, that's what they said. More likely, I'm supposed to safeguard them from Molly. The Ears are incredible, though. It's amazing magic. Molly just has to realize that. One day she will. _

_ I feel guilty enjoying my comfortable couch (though it's not half as comfortable without you next to me) knowing you're in mud and muck. Why do they do it, Remus? What is it out there in those woods that makes it worthwhile to be so uncomfortable, so removed from civilization? _

_ Missing you to the moon and back,_

_ Tonks_

_Dearest,_

_ That question is surprisingly easy to answer. Acceptance, dear. That's all these people are craving. You've an amazingly tolerant person. It's inconceivable to you that we are persecuted and ostracized from common society for something that isn't any of our faults, and yet we are. We are because people are afraid—with reason—of becoming one of us. Here in the forest, we are all the same. We've all faced the same distrust and so can turn to one another with some semblance of trust. Understand each other—sweetheart, most of the people here have never been really understood or accepted by someone who wasn't a werewolf. I've been incredibly lucky—I had James, Lily, Sirius and, rat though he turned out to be, Peter. I had Dumbledore and the rest of the faculty at Hogwarts. And of course, I have you. But most here can't say that. Since they've been bitten they've been shunned._

_ That reminds me—Sam told me his story. He had grown up in a good, wizarding home with loving but strict parents. One night last year he snuck out to meet his girlfriend, a muggleborn his pureblood parents looked down upon. On his way, a werewolf—he thinks it was Fang but can't be sure, since it's like Fang to take credit for a 'recruit' that wasn't really his—bit him. Once his parents determined there was nothing to be done, they threw him out. He went begging to his girlfriend's doorstep. She turned him away, repulsed by his scars and the image of him howling, transformed. Eventually he found his way here._

_ It's terrible, I know. But not atypical. Again, I was lucky to have parents who knew I hadn't changed, really. Anyway, that's why we are here. Acceptance._

_ How are you? What have you been up to lately?_

_ Missing you more than ever,_

_ Remus_

_Dear Remus,_

_ You're right. I didn't realize it was that bad. I'd heard you tell me about the prejudice you encounter, but I thought that was just a few small-minded people. Oh, Remus. Imagine your parents leaving you. And you say that's not unusual! The poor, poor boy. Do try to convince him. It seems he already had leanings towards our side, with the muggleborn girl, even if she turned out to be a loser. Stay safe, dear._

_ I've been okay. My boss is hinting at something big coming up, but in the meantime, I've been assigned to Hogwarts officially, and Harry guard unofficially. There's something about this new DADA teacher they have. Her name's Umbridge and somehow the Ministry appointed her. Yes, I know the Ministry isn't supposed to interfere at Hogwarts, but they're doing it. She seems like a real evil witch._

_ God, I miss you. I want you to push you against a wall and kiss you till you can barely breathe. In my dreams, I suppose. I don't remember them though. If you have more, pray tell… I'm curious. _

_ Sirius wants to know if we've figured out how to communicate. I didn't tell him, of course, but he sends his love anyway and suggests that you "always remember your besties" by which I can only guess he means himself and perhaps the other Marauders. I'll just add that I hope you don't forget me, either._

_ Love,_

_ Tonks_

_Dearest,_

_ Umbridge?? You mean, the Undersecretary to the Minister? Who looks like a toad? They can't have her at Hogwarts! The legislation she's passed—so many anti-werewolf laws passed in recent years are entirely due to her. I hope Harry doesn't have her. He can't afford to get into more trouble with the Ministry and if I know him—and I'm fairly sure I do— he won't be able to keep his mouth shut in her class. He's too noble for that. Merlin, she's a piece of work. 'Evil' is certainly one way to describe her._

_ Besides for that, I've been doing okay. I've been trying to keep from taking sides in the argument I told you about before. I mean, obviously I agree with Mike but I'm still too new here to cross Fang. See, I __am_ _taking care of myself. No need for you to worry._

_ Sam doesn't believe that You-Know-Who is really back. He doesn't believe that I'm on first name terms with either Harry or Albus, even though I showed him the letter Albus gave me. I tried to convince him that it's impossible to copy Albus' signature, but others were coming so I couldn't prove it. I will later today though. He also still has his wand, like I suspect many do. Fang disapproves of such magical things. He considers them relics of the tyranny that kicked us out._

_ I have a new friend though—Pete. He's a pretty quiet guy who's read many of the same books as I have. We talk a lot about them, but I miss my talks with you._

_ You asked for dreams. Well, I had a dream the other night that I was sitting on a cloud. You floated by on a different cloud and waved cheerfully. I jumped down to reach you but missed your cloud. Luckily I landed on one below you and you jumped down to join me. You smiled at me and I found myself kissing you. It was heavenly, dearest._

_ Love,_

_ Remus_


	11. Letters 2

_Dear Remus,_

_ Yeah, that Umbridge, the bitch. Harry sent a very clever letter to Sirius complaining about her, something about her being almost as nice as his Mum. Sirius denies the possibility of anyone being as nice as his Mum and is quite worried about his godson. We all are. Harry seems to be quite temperamental lately._

_ I've been okay. I'm in Hogsmeade now, with Christine. She's my officemate back in London. She's a good person. I'm talking to Mad-Eye about talking to her about stuff, it would make this guard much easier. Anyway, Christine and I are staying in Hogsmeade, guarding the school from Sirius. Ooo, terrifying. We might all end up painted red or something. Christine's been quiet lately, rolling her eyes at the Prophet. I hope she realizes the fraud soon. The Order would be better for having her._

_ We all miss you. Did I tell you how much I embarrassed myself after you left? Well, the short story is that everyone knows about us now. Sorry. Not __everyone.__..but Molly knows, and she's stopped trying to set me up with Bill. (Score!) Instead she gives me these knowing glances and motherly pats. She has a good heart. She also gave me a rather large bar of chocolate, a chunk of which I am inclosing here, knowing your passion for it._

_ Thanks for the dream. I wish it were true. I wish we could be together so I can fix that curl that I just __know__ has been in your eyes this whole tine and hold your strong hand in mine and kiss your lips and look into your deep beautiful eyes…_

_ Love,_

_ Tonks

* * *

_

_Dear Remus,_

_ Are you okay? I mean, I know you said it would be hard to write every day, but it's been two, and you haven't touched the chocolate. I know, I know, I should stop fretting, but it's hard._

_ Today I ran into Lucius Malfoy outside the Hogwarts grounds. He sneered at me and asked how my search for my cousin was going. I reminded him, not particularly politely, that Sirius (though I said Black) is his cousin too. He grimaced. I smiled politely and said, "Catch you later, uncle dear, but I'm needed elsewhere around now." Probably I shouldn't have, but the look on his face was priceless. He spluttered for a minute, but I just turned and walked away. I heard his footsteps a moment later, so naturally I followed him. Discreetly, of course, but I would be utterly remiss in my duties if I let a known Death Eater wander about Hogwarts aimlessly. Luckily, he couldn't get in. He swore a little and sent something—a Patronus, maybe?—into the building, and a little later his son came out. I swear, they look identical._

_ I hope you're not being sentimental like me and keeping these letters. Please burn them, Vanish them, destroy them in any way, for your own safety, and, if that's not enough reason for you, for mine._

_ I still adore you and miss you and worry about you. Take care of yourself, dearest. I don't know what I'll do if something happens to you. _

_ Love, _

_ Tonks

* * *

_

_Dear Remus,_

_ It's been three days and a half days since your last letter, not to be a nag or anything. I'm just worried. I adore you. I want you alive and well. Don't get hurt. Please._

_ Life as usual continues here in Hogsmeade. Dumbledore was unhappy to hear about Lucius, but he tells me he's keeping an eye on the kid. He adds that Harry does his part keeping an eye on the kid too. _

_ Harry, while we're at it, has indeed gotten in trouble with the toad. You were, of course, exactly right about his nobility and he clearly couldn't resist telling her You-Know-Who's returned. It created quite a stir and he has detention. Poor kid._

_ I miss miss miss you. Stay safe._

_ Love,_

_ Tonks

* * *

_

_Dear Remus,_

_ I'm running out of things to say, just that I'm thinking of you. It's been four days. That's more than half a week. Please be okay. Please don't tell me you're hurt. On second thought, if you're hurt, please tell me. I care._

_ Nothing interesting to report on my end. Still living in Hogsmeade and missing you. I don't know how much longer I'll be stationed here, which is a problem since I'm currently the only Order member on Ministry guard. I guess they'll just have to be someone here without the convenient excuse I have._

_ Be safe and healthy._

_ Love, Tonks_

_Dear Remus,_

_ I can't write much because a bigger paper won't fit in the box with the others. Stay safe. I'm worried. I miss you._

_ Love, Tonks

* * *

_

Dear Readers,

Sorry about the cliffhanger. I'm still not positive where exactly Remus is, but reviews always speed up my plot bunny. Maybe I'll even take suggestions.

You know I adore you all. Thanks for reading. Please review.

Love,

Ilovepi


	12. Surviving

The sensation of having one's face plunged into wet mud and leaves was not one Remus particularly enjoyed. Sensations he did enjoy, he reflected, included that of holding…her…in his arms and eating raspberry pie. But this one was rather unpleasant.

"Ye don't get in mah way, ye understand, ye puny dog?"

Remus wasn't entirely sure what he had done to offend the big man (Rufus, was it?) but he was an intelligent man and had no desire to continue these unpleasant sensations, so simply replied, "Yes."

"Good." The hold on Remus' collar loosened. He stood up and brushed himself off, turning to look at the man who had pushed him.

He was huge, at least a full foot taller than Remus himself and a good deal more broad. He wore a scraggly red beard, a dirty overcoat and extraordinarily large boots.

Remus stuck a hand out. "Remus," he said.

The giant looked at it warily. "Ralph," he replied, gripping Remus' hand tightly. Remus struggled not to wince.

"Pleasure to meet you," he said. "Sorry I offended you."

Ralph shrugged. "Don't worry about it," he rumbled. "Sorry I overreacted a bit." He paused, slight guilt registering on his face. "Say, I didn't hurt you much, did I?"

"No," Remus assured him. "I'm fine."

"Good." Ralph squinted down at the former professor. "You know, I know of a good place to hunt. Want to come?"

"Sure," Remus agreed.

* * *

Two days later, well and totally lost, Remus mildly regretted that "sure." Ralph had been right about one thing, though—they didn't go hungry, having plenty of fresh meat. The two camped out in the open, Ralph assuring his new pal that there was no danger of anything disturbing them at night. "Would you disturb a sleeping bear?" he chuckled.

Remus could think of a few things that would, but after one sleepless night, carefully set up wards after Ralph fell asleep. He still found sleep hard to find, imagining countless scenarios where the very Death Eaters he was trying to outwit stumbled upon them and trying very hard not to imagine her lying next to him. He thought regretfully of the box in the rucksack in his tent, protected by layers of charms, and the letters that must be waiting for him there. Unlike the box, his communication with the headmaster was safely strapped to his wrist and Dumbledore remained informed of the proceedings.

On the third day, Remus gave up. Using a few useful charms, he figured out where they needed to go.

"That way," he told Ralph.

Ralph looked down at him. "Ye've only been here a coupla weeks! How can ye know where ye're goin'?"

Remus paused. Ralph pointed in a direction Remus knew to be entirely wrong, and the former professor, faced with the prospect of several more sleepless nights, couldn't keep it in anymore. "I know because I'm a wizard and I cast a spell to tell me where to go!" he exploded.

Ralph looked at him curiously. "Then why didn't ye do that in the first place?" he asked.

Remus blinked in surprise. "I…uh…"

Ralph snorted. "Don't be afraid of me, man. I'm just a big teddy bear, ye'know?"

"Right," Remus said, remembering their first meeting. "A big teddy bear."

Ralph seemed to read his mind. "Yeah, well, sorry 'bout that. When ye look like I do, ye gotta act tough or no one takes ye seriously. When ye're your size, ye can be nice and no one thinks the less of ye, but not when ye're my size."

"I never thought of that," Remus admitted.

The big man grinned down at him. "Aye, most people don't." He pause. "Which way did ye say we're going?"

Remus pointed again and they set off into the woods.

* * *

Two days later, they arrived back at camp to find total chaos. Someone grabbed Remus and pulled him to the side almost immediately. "What the—" he gasped, his wand already in his hand ready to hex the living daylights over whoever it was when he saw it was Sam. The teenager looked wild, his blond hair flopping all over the place and in his eyes, reminding Remus suddenly of a time Sirius had dyed James' hair blonde.

"Where have you been?" Sam asked. "I've been worried frantic."

"Lost," Remus said tersely. "What the hell is going on here?"

"Mike is gone," Same told him. "Fang killed one of his followers and Mike and about five others left. It's been kinda…" he gestured at the mayhem behind him.

"Damn."

"Helluva time to get lost," Sam commented, trying and failing to smile.

Remus paused. "And the full moon is tomorrow night."

Sam nodded.

"Damn!"

"Remus, I…" Sam pulled him even farther into the trees. "This will be your first here, right?"

There was no need to ask what he meant. "Yes," Remus confirmed.

"Remus…I have a tiny amount of Wolf's Bane," the kid blurted, his eyes searching the older man's face. "It's barely enough to hold me through the night and I don't know what I'll do after that but I think I'll manage and if you want you can have it." He paused, biting his lip, afraid he'd said too much.

Remus swallowed, amazed at the amount of trust the boy put in him. He put a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Sam, you keep that potion. You take care of yourself. Don't get into any fights. Don't try anything strange. Just stay with the pack and keep your mind."

The boy nodded, his Adam's apple bobbing. "What about you?"

Remus smiled tightly. "I've got some. Don't worry about me." He looked back to the fight in the field. "I need to get to my tent."

"I'll help you," Sam volunteered at once.

"You don't—" Remus began, but saw the look on his friend's face and gave up.

They plunged back into the fray. Ducking blows and throwing some when he found it necessary, jinxing people subtly out of his way, Remus made it to his tent. Sam, immediately behind him, fended off blows with what appeared to be some sort of karate.

"Surprised your tent's still standing," Sam commented, ignoring the blood dripping from a cut on his forehead.

"I'm not," Remus said dryly. "I put several wards on it." He reached for the sack on the ground. The box, his quick peek told him, was full to overflowing. He put it to the side and reached in deeper for the bottle Snape had given him. Like the bag itself, the bottle was bigger than it appeared and contained enough potion for about five full moons.

Something must have nudged it because the box fell to the floor. He must not have closed it right when he peeked, he thought, because the charms against the cover opening failed and the letters spilled to the floor. Sam instantly leaned down to pick them up.

"I'll get that," Remus said harshly. The boy looked up in surprise, then down at the letters. He blushed as the signature caught his eye. _Love, Tonks._ "I….sorry, I just…" Sam stuttered, looking down again to avoid Remus' gaze and another phrase caught his attention. …_ since I'm currently the only Order member on Ministry guard…_

"I'll take those," Remus said again, holding his hand out. The boy handed them over, not meeting his eyes.

Remus, hands shaking, took the letters, praying there was nothing incriminating, nothing that could remotely hurt her. "What did you see?" he asked flatly.

Sam swallowed, looking at his toes. "Her signature," he answered. Remus continued glaring. "And something about her being on Ministry guard for an…order."

Remus' lips tightened and only the years of training not to swear in front of children kept the expletive from exploding violently out of his mouth.

Sam shuffled a little as Remus glanced through the letters. Trust her to be worried, he thought wryly.

_I hope you're not being sentimental like me and keeping these letters. Please burn them, Vanish them, destroy them in any way, for your own safety, and, if that's not enough reason for you, for mine. _

_Too late, dearest, _he thought, wanting to punch himself.

Sam's loud swallow distracted him. The teenager was still standing there awkwardly.

"Is that…is that the Order of the Phoenix?" he asked.

Remus looked at him. His hair was matted and dried blood stuck to his forehead where he had gotten hurt on the way to the tent. His face was smudged and pale beneath the dirt.

"Yes."

"Is You-Know-Who really back?" His hazel eyes looked pleadingly at Remus.

He nodded.

Sam swallowed, hard. "And you're fighting against him."

Remus nodded again.

He took a deep breath. "Can I help?"

Later that night, Remus sent another brief report to Dumbledore. And a much longer letter to his Dora, as he had started thinking of her.

_Dearest,_

_First, I'm safe, healthy except for a few scratches and bruises, and I miss you terribly._

_Let me tell you what's happened the past few days…._

Please, please review. What do you want? More Remus? More Tonks? Maybe even more Sam? I actually have a general plotline for the next few chapters worked out, but I don't know exactly how they'll go, so I'm open to suggestions. Again, reviews are always appreciated.


	13. My New Assignment

**As promised to the wonderful people who reviewed, here is another chapter. Two in a week! The last time that happened was…um….well…here it is, anyway!**

_

* * *

Dear Remus,_

_You need to get out. Take Sam and leave…_

* * *

Remus' letter the night before had succeeded in mostly banishing the pit that had been living in my stomach for most of the week. He was alive; he was unhurt; he had succeeded in convincing someone to join out cause.

But tonight was the full moon.

I went to work, back in London, having returned from Hogsmeade the night before with orders to appear promptly at the office for a new, urgent, assignment.

I hurried into the room. Allie, my other officemate, was the only person I knew well there. We stood around awkwardly waiting when a senior agent I knew only by the code name _Hawk_ walked briskly in.

"At ease," he ordered. "We have a bit of a situation with a rebel group of werewolves."

That's when I knew my life had gotten a thousand times more complicated.

"For many years, there has been a camp of werewolves living in this area of England," he informed us, pulling down a map with a flick of his wand and circling a section in red with another flick. "Recently, however, they've become more and more radical, seeking to not only secede from general wizarding population but to fight against it. We've just received insider information from a werewolf, now under immunity, who tells us that their leader, a man named Fang, is planning to attack the Ministry."

_Mike_, I thought, the pit in my stomach returning in full force.

"He also offered positive proof that Fang recently murdered a thirty-two year-old man named Frank Conway. We need to arrest Fang and break up this group." He tapped a stack of papers sitting next to him with his wand. "The raid is to take place the day after the full moon when they will be at slightly weaker strength. That is the day after tomorrow. These are your assignments. Report back to this room in an hour." The papers flew neatly to each person. I caught mine smoothly, my heart pounding in my mouth.

* * *

Back in my office, I took a deep breath and, for the first time, truly broke the oaths of secrecy I'd sworn on becoming an Auror. Dumbledore had to be informed.

I read the file. There was a picture of Fang and other known members of the group. The pressure on my heart let up a little when I saw Remus was not among them.

We were ordered to stun, hex, or otherwise incapacitate anyone who got in our way. Only Fang was under arrest. The others were to be frightened. Someone, not me, would announce the Ministry's orders and suggest they turn themselves in to the Ministry.

I only had to protect those going after Fang from anyone trying to defend him. _Oh, Remus…my Remus…please get out. Oh, please…_

I hoped Dumbledore got my message. I hoped his ways of getting in touch with my Remus were more efficient than mine. I hoped he ordered Remus to get the hell out of there. I hoped Remus got out of there, with Sam. I hoped that wasn't too much to hope for.

"Tonks?"

It was Allie. "Mhm?"

"You look worried."

I shrugged. "Just hoping it'll be okay, I guess. I don't really like the attacking a whole group of people thing either. Maybe some of them are stuck there. What if we hurt an innocent?"

"Innocent? Tonks, these people are werewolves! They hurt innocent children! If they were innocent, they wouldn't be there!"

"Where would they be?"

"In the regular wizarding world, with a job and taking Wolf's bane!"

"Do you have any idea how hard it is for a werewolf to get a job?"

"No wonder, no one wants a monster working for them!"

"Then how can they survive in the regular wizarding world?"

She paused and Christine, bless her, took the opportunity to jump in the breach. "Begging your pardon, girls," she said, "but as much as I think Tonk's point is well taken, I believe you two have somewhere to be in about five minutes."

I glanced at my watch. She was right. "Thanks," I said.

"Yeah, thanks," Allie mumbled, grabbing her papers and walking out.

I reached for mine. "Tonks?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you care so much about werewolves?"

"They're people too, Christine," I snapped. "I care about people."

She nodded thoughtfully. "You better go," she said.

"Why aren't you involved with this?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Mad-eye wants me for something. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

I shook my head. "Gotta go," I said. That was one good thing today. I gave it about a three on the good scale, absently calculating today's score. Good: three. Bad: Three million, four hundred and twelve.

* * *

We spent the rest of the day practicing our maneuvers and strategies. I missed an Order meeting and expected to miss another tomorrow.

I raced into the practice room with the others, wand drawn. I kept an eye out around the back of an Auror named Tyler, one of the three assigned to get Fang. I stunned three men around the simulated "Fang" and one who was attacking Tyler before ducking someone punch only to trip over a foot.

"Pay attention, Auror Tonks!" one of the high-ups called. I sighed and sat up. Tyler had been stunned by someone else, but the other two had gotten Fang. All in all, not such a bad scenario.

"Again!"

And so on.

When I got home, I dumped my stuff and headed straight for the box.

…_Take Sam and get out. Mike came to the Ministry…

* * *

_

Ah, the plot thickens. Review and I will reply. In fact, I'll even go to your profile page and if you're an author, read something you wrote and review it. 


	14. To Stay or Not to Stay

I woke up several times during the night to check the box for a response. _Please tell me you're out safely, _I silently begged him.

Around four, something appeared. I gripped the paper tightly in the dark, groping my nightstand for a light. I found the smooth wood of my wand and, hand shaking, lifted it to illuminate his short note.

_Dearest,_

_I can't leave now. If I leave just before this calamity, I'll never be trusted here again, and we need these people. More than that, dearest, these are __my __people and I can't desert them in their time of need. Before you ask, yes, Dumbledore also told me to get out, so don't be angry with him. I've warned Sam. I don't know how to warn anyone else, but at least I'll be here to help them._

_The full moon is tonight. I'll hunt with my pack._

_Still and always yours,_

_Remus_

I read it twice, then a third. The tears forming in my eyes made it hard to read. I stumbled to the edge of my bed and sank into it, reading again.

_Remus, _

_Don't you understand?? __I MIGHT HAVE TO HURT YOU!!! __Get the hell out of there! There will be fighting. People will get hurt. I sure as hell won't let you be one of them._

_Besides, Fang IS a criminal and deserves to be arrested so don't you dare warn people and have them ready for us. Get out. Now._

_Frantic with worry,_

_Tonks_

Worries must not have been keeping him up late because even though I stayed up waiting for a response, none came. I fell asleep, exhausted, sometime around five-thirty.

* * *

It took the alarm's persistent buzzing nearly five minutes before I stumbled out of bed to hit the snooze button. It dodged neatly and continued buzzing. Stupid enchanted alarm clocks. Rubbing my eyes blearily, I got dressed, mumbling swears. Luckily I had some coffee—or the wizard equivalent—ready in the kitchen or I never would have made it to work.

But I did, not that I got any joy out of that either. After serious internal debate, I had forced myself to leave the box at home, knowing the havoc that could ensue if the Ministry got their grubby hands on it. At the very least, considering the mission I was currently on, I'd lose my job. Likely it would turn out lousily for my Remus too, and the Order. Still, I regretted not having it.

We spent the day practicing. We read instructions, memorized faces, and kept practicing.

One good thing happened today. Christine mentioned, offhand, while Allie was elsewhere, that her meeting with Mad-Eye had gone rather well.

"Is that so?" I asked.

"Indeed," she said. There was a pause. "Sorry I can't say more."

"I understand."

Our quills scratched companionably for another few minutes. "You know, I'm hungry. It's nearly lunch break. I know this great café not that far from here. What say we grab a bite?"

Ten minutes later, we sat together in a small booth, happily munching hamburgers.

"So this is all for real," she commented.

I nodded. "Scares the hell out of me," I said.

"Me too." She sighed. "My mum's been telling me all along not to trust the _Prophet. _Guess I should just admit that she's always right."

I laughed. "My mum's always has to be right, too. Didn't make life easy when I was a teenager, lemme tell you."

We talked about our childhoods for the rest of the meal. It was only at the end that her real concerns came up.

"Tonks?"

"Mhm?"

"Mad-Eye wants me to meet with some people in a couple days."

"At—" But I couldn't say the name, so she clearly didn't know about Number Twelve yet.

"In a park. I just…I'm nervous. What if they don't trust me? I'm on the good side, I swear. It's just…"

"You want me to be there."

She nodded.

"I'll do my best."

"Thanks." She tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm really glad to be part of the team, doing the right thing, you know?"

I knew.

* * *

There was, thankfully, another note in my box.

_Dearest,_

_I'm staying. I promise I won't jeopardize your mission. This is where I belong, darling, and it's where I'm staying._

_If something happens to me, know that I love you._

_Yours forever,_

_Remus_

I crumpled it up and threw it on the floor. How could he? He was recklessly endangering his own and other's safety for some clichéd sense of responsibility to people he had no freaking obligation to!

_Nice how even when you're pissed as hell your vocabulary doesn't shrink, _the stupid voice in my head noted dryly.

_Shut up,_ I told it and went back to ranting about Remus. He could get seriously hurt! He could put me in a situation where I might have to hurt him.

_Then you'd better make sure you know what to do. _

_SHUT—_I paused mid-thought. Stupid self was right again. I leaned down and carefully picked up the balled letter, smoothing it out on my knee.

_He loves me. He loves me!_

I sat down and carefully worked out a plan. Tomorrow I'd be ready.

* * *

"It's nearly time."

Remus looked up. Sam stood at the entrance to his tent.

"You've taken your potion?" he muttered.

The boy nodded. "You?"

Remus nodded.

"Tomorrow—" Sam began.

"You should leave early tomorrow morning. I don't know what time they'll be coming."

"But you—"

"I'm staying."

"Then I'll stay."

"No."

"I beg your pardon?"

"No. Go." Remus rummaged through his bag.

"I'm staying, Remus."

The first howls reached the tent and the ghost of a smile flickered on Sam's lips. "Besides, it's too late to go now. Shall we?"

Remus sighed and the two stepped out into the night where the silvery light of the full moon cast an eerie glow on their faces as their bodies transformed.

* * *

_Well, there you have it. Next chapter, though vaguely planned out, will probably not be up for a while. My apologies._

_Reviews, as always, are appreciated, and thanks to those of you who reviewed!_


	15. Raid

_My darling readers: My apologies for the delay, and advance warning that it will be at least a month before the next update._

_I have a confession. This story was very loosely based on a real relationship of mine (and I mean VERY loosely) but said boy recently broke up with me. Thusly, it has become a lot harder to write. However, over the course of writing this, I've become far more attached to this adorable couple since starting and intend to continue it until it is done._

I woke up abruptly and completely at 6:02 that morning. Staring at my ceiling, I silently reviewed the steps of my plan. Step one had been put into action last night. The next began when the coming battle did. Repeating the plan over and over, I did the only sensible thing to do at that time of morning.

I took a shower.

Ten minutes later, fully dressed and still an hour early for reporting to work, I collected a few necessary items, stowed them in my locket (an incredibly useful present given to me at my graduation by my parents) and reread Remus's letter twice.

_If something happens to me, know that I love you._

I damn well wouldn't let anything happen to him. I loved him too much to allow that.

* * *

I arrived at the Ministry well before necessary, which was all well and good. I wandered around aimlessly for a bit.

"Tonks! A word?"

It was Kingsley, peeking out of his cubicle, looking slightly concerned. He wasted no time getting to the point.

"Dumbledore told me," he stated matter-of-factly. "Will you be alright?"

I nodded. "I have a plan worked out."

"Has…_he_ gotten out?"

I sighed and shook my head. "Too honorable," I said, maybe a little bitterly. "He doesn't want to desert them."

"Damn." He paused. "Take care of yourself, him, and don't lose your cover." He glanced at his watch. "You better go."

"Yeah," I agreed, turning to go. "And Kingsley?"

"Mhm?"

"Thanks."

He looked up and met my eyes, knowing precisely what I meant. The light glinting off his earring, he nodded solemnly and said, "You are welcome."

* * *

"There have been a few slight revisions to the plan," Hawk announced. I carefully kept my face impassive. "It has come to my attention," he continued, "that although your orders are to hurt no one more permanently, only after provocation and in no greater degree than necessary for your own and your companion's safety, it is likely that some innocents will be hurt. For that reason, several of you will remain after others leave with Fang in order to make sure that any serious injuries make it to St. Mungo's and other injuries are repaired. Any questions?"

"Won't it be dangerous? They'll be pretty mad at us, and some of us will have left already," Allie said.

"Half of you will be watching the backs of the others," Hawk replied. "And we believe that it is more important to express peaceful intentions and help these people than to frighten them and alienate them more, only increasing their desire to secede. Anything else?"

"Who's staying?" Longworth, a tall blonde I knew only casually asked.

"Tonks with Kinsman, Sandiford with O'Reilly, and Patil with you, Longworth." We glanced at each other and exchanged nods. I nodded solemnly to Eric Kinsman. An intelligent man with brilliantly blue eyes and a powerful sense of responsibility, he had been a year before me at Hogwarts and once dated a close friend.

"Remember: Last night was the full moon. The werewolves will both be more tired than usual and more moody. Be aware of that. When the objective is reached," Hawk continued," the rest of you will Apparate out immediately. Those of you staying: Get in your pairs and assist those injured in any way possible. If any of you are injured, your partner will Apparate you out. As practiced, that goes for the battle too. Understood?"

We nodded.

"Then get ready and we'll leave in five minutes."

* * *

We Apparated together into a field half a mile from the main camp, Disillusioned ourselves and jogged towards our site. The noise reached us long before the camp, hidden between the trees, did.

Anyway, we got there. Various tents stood in clumps around the edges of a clearing. A couple campfires burned with people gathered around, speared bits of meat roasting for breakfast. I didn't see Remus.

"Positions," came the faintest of whispers behind me. I slipped towards the left side, behind where I guessed Tyler stood.

"Attention," boomed a voice. Everyone jumped and I heard a curse as someone burnt his fingers on his breakfast. "We are representatives of the Ministry of Magic, here to arrest a werewolf known as Fang for two counts of murder, treason and theft. Do not resist and you will not be harmed," the voice continued. It was O'Reilly, I knew.

Instant chaos. More people poured out of tents. I heard a yelp and cries of "Don't betray your people!" from the largest tent. Around the clearing, people materialized as we lifted the Disillusionment charms. And almost directly across from me, Remus stepped out, pale and tired, his hand in his pocket undoubtedly curled around his wand. Shadowing him, slightly shorter and with untidy blond hair and a dirt-smudged face stood a teenager I could only assume was Sam.

But I had to concentrate. Fighting started up on the other side—it appeared that several werewolves had jumped on a couple of our guys, more of which were trying to help from the outside. Tyler moved towards the big tent. We didn't have anyone over there—the density of people was too great to risk an invisible person moving around among them.

I took a deep breath, raised my wand and met my Remus's eyes. I steeled my heart and stunned him. He fell forward; Sam gasped. I began to cast a Cushioning charm but someone tripped me. I rolled forward, came to my feet, stunned the person behind me, Impedimenta-ed two men advancing on Tyler. I couldn't afford the glance towards the man I loved. I had to trust Sam to take care of him.

The next ten minutes were a blur. I kept my eyes on Tyler, keeping people out of his way as he advanced. Once, someone leaped on me from behind, grabbing my arms. I dived at the ground and he lost his balance. I stunned him and continued.

Tyler and one of the other two entered the tent together. I stood at the entrance with Sandiford, keeping others back. Sounds of a struggle filtered through the tent and finally, the crack of somebody Apparating away. I exchanged a glance with Sandiford and slipped inside the tent. It was empty, besides for one slightly bloodied, unconscious man on the floor.

"Gone," I told Sandiford.

He nodded and tapped his wand to his throat. "Attention," he announced. "We have arrested your leader. Lay down your weapons and no charges will be pressed. We will be leaving adequate personnel to tend to your wounded. Attack them and you will be seen as an enemy of the government as well as a total jerk. Thank you."

There were various cracks as half our Aurors left. Eric Kinsman drifted towards my side Other pairs gathered together. The clearing was suddenly, eerily, silent and I found several sets of eyes trained on me.

I swallowed and started to work. A glance in the direction I had seen Remus told me he was gone. I thought I saw Sam peering out from between tent flaps, but I might have been wrong and it took all my self-control not to rush over there.

Things were surprisingly peaceful. Some fled on foot; others Apparated. We let them go. A few rebellious men tried to attack us but they were easily subdued and Apparated away. After that, no one tried. They just sat there watching stubbornly or asking for help.

Finally, I managed to make my way over to where I thought Remus was. I poured a little Dittany on a cut on someone's arm and he smiled gratefully.

"Ma'am?"

I turned to see the dirty-blonde I had decided was Sam. "Yes?"

"My friend is hurt…Can you...?" He waved his hands in gesture I assumed meant magic.

"Certainly," I replied, relieved to hear my voice was steady even if my heartbeat was not.

He led me to the tent.

"Tonks…" Eric warned.

"I'll be fine," I said, and stepped in.

Remus was unconscious on the ground, slightly muddy and scraped up. I couldn't resist anymore and practically threw myself to his side.

That curl was still in his eyes. I brushed it away, checking for damages. There was a bruise on the back of his head the size of a hippogriff egg and I cursed myself for not completing the Cushioning charm I'd started.

A small swallow behind me alerted me to Sam's presence. "So it is you," he said.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You. You're his…mysterious source."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said cautiously.

"Yeah, you do," he said. "You're Tonks."

I turned back to Remus.

"You can wake him, can't you?" Sam asked, the faintest note of concern in his voice.

I nodded. "_Ennervate," _I said, pointing my wand at his head. His eyelashes fluttered and he stirred a little. Sam came closer behind me.

His eyes fixed on me. "Dora," he mumbled. I squeezed his hand, trying to suppress tears. He flinched, blinked several times and reached up and gently stroked my face.

"It's you," he said wonderingly. "You're really here."

I nodded. "Wotcher, Remus. How are you?"

_Brilliant, _my snide inner voice commented._ Haven't seen the man you love in a month, not counting when you knocked him unconscious an hour ago, and you ask him how he is. Lame, darling. Lame._

He struggled to sit up, rubbing his temples. "Lousy," he said thickly. He scrunched up his eyebrows adorably. "You stunned me," he accused.

Sam moved in, worried.

"I had to," I told him. "I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "Help me up."

I stood and helped him up. Still a little unsteady, he held on to my shoulders. I looked up at those beautiful eyes of his.

"Tonks?" Eric called, concerned.

"I'm fine, don't worry," I called back. "Be out soon, just fixing a couple of things up."

I turned back to Remus. He was gazing at me with a look that made my heart skip several beats. "Oh, Remus," I whispered and he enfolded me in his strong arms. I hugged him tightly for a too-short moment, and let go.

"I have to leave," I said. I glanced at Sam, who was drawing patterns in the dirt with his toe in an effort to give us privacy. "Are you up to Apparating?"

"I think so."

"Wait a bit, and then go to my house. There's an extra key in the mailbox, set to come out on code word 'epic.'"

He nodded. "I'll contact Dumbledore."

"I need to go."

"I'll see you tonight," he promised. So we went our separate ways.


	16. Together Again

_Yeah, well, I lied. I certainly __shouldn't__ have had another chapter to post for a month, but…it's so much more interesting than the work I have to do! _

_This chapter is mostly fluff, but hey—they deserve some fluff time, especially with Christmas coming up…_

_So, with no further ado:_

I Apparated to my doorstep as soon as I could get away. I had stayed longer tending to the wounded; there had been debriefings and reports to listen to, bureaucracy to deal with, and it all took much more time than I would have liked. Stars were already beginning to appear when I finally made it home.

I stood on my stoop, nervous for the first time about what I'd find within. It was my home; I'd never come home knowing there were people waiting inside.

Telling myself I was being totally ridiculous, I let myself in.

At first I didn't see anyone. Then I caught a glimpse of a blonde head resting on my kitchen table. I walked across the hall to find Sam sitting in the wooden chair, slumped over the table, snoring.

I tapped his shoulder. He was on his feet almost immediately.

"Sorry, ma'am," he mumbled.

"Don't worry about it," I said, "And don't call me ma'am."

He nodded, rubbing his eyes.

"You okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, just tired. A little scraped up, but that's nothing."

"The fight?"

He shook his head. "The full moon."

Right. That. I couldn't wait any longer. "Where is he?"

"Asleep on the couch," he replied, startled. "He wanted to stay up until you got back but he was so dizzy…I told him it would be a while before you came and a nap wouldn't hurt. I promised to wake him up when it got dark…" He glanced out the window guiltily.

"No harm done," I assured him. "You're right—he probably desperately needed sleep. As, no doubt, did you."

"Guess so."

"I think I'll go see how he is," I told the boy.

"Should I…" he shot a look in the direction of the couch and reddened. I wondered what Remus had told him about me.

I looked at him thoroughly. His jeans were ripped at the knees and his jacket was stained and dirty. Dirty described pretty much all of him—his face, smudged and scraped, his hair, unkempt, his scuffed shoes. Only his eyes were steady, but they were hard and deep as though he had been forced to leave one too many place. Or maybe I was just reading too much into it.

"Why don't you take a shower?" I suggested.

* * *

Remus was, as promised, asleep on the couch. He seemed so peaceful there, eyes quietly closed, breath steady, that it almost broke my heart. That one curl was _still _in his eyes and his hands lay loosely by his sides. I kissed him gently on his lips. He moved a little and a slow smile spread across his face. It had been so long…I suddenly realized that instead of the months we had imagined, he had been gone for a trifle over three weeks. It felt like an eternity.

I took his hand in mine. There was dirt under his fingernails, I noted, and calluses that hadn't been there before. His grip on mine tightened and I looked up. His eyes opened and met mine.

"Wotcher, Remus," I said softly. In one swift motion, he pulled me into him and pushed himself up.

My lips met his in a suddenly passionate kiss. We clung to each other, my hands in his hair, his on my back, my need for him an intense ache.

He pulled back, tracing my face with his finger, tucking a stray hair behind my ear. "I take it you missed me," he smiled.

Hands entwined in the curls at the back of his neck, I smiled back. "You can't imagine how much."

"I probably can, considering you couldn't have possibly missed me more than I missed you."

"Untrue!"

"So true!"

"Nope."

"Ye—" But I cut him off, pushing him onto the couch and snogging the living daylights out of him. When I stopped, he lay on his back with a rather dazed expression, reaching for me.

"I win," I announced.

"Okay," he agreed, breathless. "Just…kiss me again."

Needless to say, I obliged. The next several minutes were extraordinarily pleasant.

"What is it?" he asked as I pulled away.

"Something…changed…" I said, unsure what I had heard. Something cleared in my mind. "The shower!" I realized. "Sam's done."

"We'd better….uh…" His ears reddened.

"Make ourselves presentable? Yeah, we should." I sat up and straightened my shirt. He did the same. "How's my hair?" I asked, patting down the short, brown hair. I always wear my hair short on missions for safety reasons, and pink is a trifle obvious for a fight.

"It is a bit…" he trailed off. "How's mine?"

"Messy," I said. "But that's nothing new." With a faint pop, my hair became long, red and neat.

When Sam came out of the bathroom, hair dripping and wearing a different, not entirely clean, outfit, he found us sitting, holding hands, and talking.

"Hi," he said.

"Wotcher," I said automatically as Remus said, "Hello," equally automatically.

"C'mon over, Sam," Remus added. "Have you met Tonks yet?" There was a barely perceptible pause before he said my name,

"Sort of," Sam replied. "Not officially." He came over to our side of the couch.

"Well, Tonks, meet Sam. Sam, meet Tonks," Remus announced.

"Wotcher, Sam," I said again.

"Nice to meet you, Tonks." He paused, looking at me curiously. "I'm sorry…but wasn't your hair short just a minute ago?"

"She's a Metamorphagus," Remus explained as I opened my mouth to answer.

His eyes widened. "But that's like...uber-rare!"

"Yeah, it is," Remus agreed, looking at me adoringly.

"Way to talk for me, Remus," I said.

He looked blank for a moment and then guilty. "Sorry," he apologized. "I just..."

"Yeah, yeah." I turned to Sam. "How old are you?" I asked.

He paused. "Eighteen."

"Just out of Hogwarts?"

"I never came back in the middle of my sixth year," he told me.

"Oh," I said, embarrassed. "Well. What are we going to do with you?"

The hardness in his eyes came back and his shoulders tensed. "I can take care of myself," he said. "I'd have left already except…"

"Except what?" Remus asked gently.

He shrugged. "Thought maybe I could be helpful somehow. Fighting You-Know-Who and all."

Remus and I exchanged a glance. "Maybe you can be. We'll talk to Dumbledore for you."

"Thanks," he said. "Can I…can I stay here in the meantime?"

Remus and I looked at each other again and I knew he was thinking what I was—that now of all times wasn't the best time to have a third person in the house.

"You certainly can tonight," I agreed. I couldn't send the kid out alone. "You'll sleep on the couch. We'll see if we can find a better spot for you later."

"Thanks a ton," he said, relief shining clear in those blue eyes of his. "But what about…" he glanced at Remus and mumbled, "never mind."

"Okay," I said, glad for the excuse to ignore that problem and trying to avoid the look Remus was giving me asking the same thing.

Just then, Sam's stomach gave an audible rumble. We all looked down at it. "Erm…sorry?" he said.

"No, no." I waved the apology off. "My fault. Bad hostess. Let me get you something to eat."

"To be fair, we did kinda crash," Remus said, faintly amused.

I stood up and went to the kitchen, hoping to find something edible. I'd been eating dinner at Number Twelve lately and at home, I mostly lived on eggs and crackers. Though I'd never admit it to Remus, those boxes had cost a bit more than I could afford. Luckily, there were a couple instant spell meals in the back. Incredibly useful things, those—just say the magic words and the mix becomes edible.

Anyway, I happened to have a few, so I pulled one out and with a simple _Symposia_ and a flick of my wand, we had dinner.

The three of us sat around the table eating. Remus and Sam told me more anecdotes from their time at the camp. I gripped Remus' hand tightly and thanked whatever divine beings there were for bringing him home.

* * *

Later, I told Sam I had a few things I needed to discuss with Remus privately and brought him to my room. I closed the door and turned around. He examined my room .I looked around to see what he was looking at, wincing at the mess. My clothes lay scattered on the floor. I hadn't made the bed. My jewelry box, and next to that, the other box, lay open on the cluttered dresser. His gaze lingered on the stack of letters he'd written and on the one, un-crumpled now, in which he'd said he loved me, that lay on my pillow.

I put my arm around him and leaned on his side. "I'm so glad you're back," I whispered.

"Me too, d-ear. Me too." The hesitation after the d reminded me of something.

"When you woke up, earlier today…" I began.

"After you knocked me out?" he questioned, mock-annoyed.

"Yeah, then. You called me something."

He examined his toes. "Dora, probably," he said.

I thought about that for a minute. He peeked up at me through his eyelashes.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm waiting for you to be annoyed," he said.

"Oh. Well then." I sighed. "I guess you can call me that. I know how you hate Tonks."

"Oh, Dora," he said, and the love he put into those two syllables made me throw myself at him. _Dumb idea,_ stupid self observed a moment later when I tripped and fell at him instead. Not expecting it, he overbalanced and fell backward onto my bed.

"Er…oops?"

He laughed. "Only you, dearest, could manage that. He rolled over so he was on top. "I got you now," he teased.

"I could get loose if I wanted to," I assured him.

"Uh huh."

"Auror training, remember."

"But do you _want _to get free?" he asked, puppy dog eyes and all.

"If I wanted to, don't you think I would have already?"


	17. Things Relax For now

"So…where _am _I going to sleep tonight?" Remus asked a bit later. We were lying on my bed, facing each other.

"Here isn't comfortable?" I asked innocently.

He reddened. "I mean I—If you—I just—It's—Sure."

"Settled, then," I said, not waiting for his inner prude to take over again. "I'll go make sure Sam has everything he needs, and get into pajamas and stuff."

"Ill change here then?" he suggested hesitantly.

"Sure,"I agreed and slipped out to where Sam was already nearly asleep on the couch. "Wotcher, Sam," I said softly.

He smiled up at me sleepily, then rubbed his eyes and sat up. "Tomorrow Remus will talk with Dumbledore for you and figure out what you can do. He's a bit busy, but hopefully you'll be able to meet him personally sometime soon. Sounds good?"

He nodded. "Let me get you some blankets," I said, summoning them from the closet. I muffled bang told me I'd have to open the door myself if I didn't want a new door. Soon though, I had Sam all comfortable for the night and was safely returned to my Remus. He apparently had stifled any more objections his inner prude could have and grinned up at me from my bed.

[_The following paragraphs are omitted because it is a) none of your business and b) not relevant to the plot and c) has no character development, and d) the author doesn't write smut for the purpose of smut. Narration resumes in the same spot, some time later. _]

Remus kissed me, clumsily, passionately. I held him tighter. He squeezed back. I slipped a hand under his shirt. He stiffened, suddenly tense.

"Don't," he muttered.

"Why not?" I teased, mind so full of hormones and exhaustion thoughts weren't traveling straight. "I let you." It was true. My shirt could currently be found some place on the floor in a crumpled heap.

"I just…" He sat up, his hair more than a little messy. I was sure mine was no better.

"What is it?" I asked gently, tracing his jaw with a finger. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable…"

He examined his fingernails. "I just…I don't want you to pity me!" he blurted.

I blinked at him. He sighed. "Look," he ordered, and pulled his shirt off. A massive scar stretched around his left shoulder and down his side. I tried hard to suppress the images my imagination automatically presented me with of what caused that kind of injury and how it must have looked when it was new. There were also a variety of smaller scrapes and bruises.

Aside from that, he was amazingly muscular.

He watched my face warily. I reached out a hand and ran my finger along the scar. He shivered but didn't move to stop me. "You were five?" I asked quietly.

He nodded. "It doesn't…" he swallowed. "It doesn't disgust you?"

"Disgust me? Remus, the only thing that disgusts me about this is that there's a man sick enough to position himself to do this to a child. There's absolutely nothing about you like that."

He shrugged. On an impulse, I leaned down and kissed his scar. "All better!" I said.

"Er…what?" He looked utterly bewildered.

"You never had that?" I exclaimed. "Oh, you deprived child…when I was little, if I fell or scraped myself or something my mum would kiss it and make it all better…"

"And that worked?" Remus asked skeptically.

"Well it took my mind off the pain, anyway…"

"Maybe there's some magical healing properties in it," Remus suggested. "We should test it…I think I bit my lip…"

I laughed. "You don't have to hurt yourself to get me to kiss you, Remus," I informed him, and did so. He wrapped his arms around me, his warm skin pleasant against mine, and we eventually fell asleep.

* * *

Sadly, I had work the next day. I arrived at the Ministry exhausted in spite of the all purpose wake-up potion I had gulped down. I wondered absentmindedly if potions taken too often reduce their effects.

Work was routine, busy, paperwork, meetings. In a word, boring. I hurried home to the weekend as soon as possible.

All was not fun and games, however. Christmas was around the corner, and arrangements had to be made to safely escort the kids—particularly the chosen one—home without too much risk of Death Eater attack. Anyway, there were Order meetings to go to and one lonely teenaged werewolf to figure out.

"He's a good kid," Remus had told Dumbledore, and Dumbledore agreed that he couldn't be left alone at my flat for the rest of his life. No further suggestions of value had been made, the headmaster being extremely busy and Remus having no clue where even an adult werewolf could work safely.

That night's meeting, we formally welcomed Remus home and he gave a quick summary of his experience and few successes. Then we got to business, those few of us who could make it (a number that did not include the headmaster). (Sirius, Remus, Tonks, Kingsley, Molly, Hestia, Dung)

"I tell you, Portkey's the only really safe way to go," Molly insisted. "Straight from there home, no exposure…the children will be perfectly safe."

"It won't work," Hestia Jones, straight out of Hogwarts guard, said quietly. "Umbridge will be watching those trains like a hawk. Your kids or Harry don't get on it, there'll be trouble."

"Unauthorized Portkey's are quite illegal," Kingsley agreed. "And the Ministry is just waiting for an opportunity like this to jump on Albus. We need a safe way to get them from King's Cross to the Burrow."

"I think we should revisit where we're bringing them," Sirius interjected. Remus raised an eyebrow at me, clearly asking _you've been through this before? _I rolled my eyes at the ceiling, responding just as clearly, _way too many times,_

"My children are coming home for the holiday," Molly said firmly. "Christmas is family time, and we will celebrate it together."

"Couldn't you celebrate it together…at my place?" Sirius asked. "It's safer."

Molly bristled. "I'd thank you not to suggest I don't have proper caution for my children's safety, Sirius. Arthur and I have worked hard to secure the Borrow."

"Enough," Kingsley said firmly. "We've been through this before. In the end, it's up to Molly and Arthur where they want their kids to be, and, not unreasonably, they chose home. Our job is simply to make sure that it happens safely. Now, as much as it would be preferable, leaving directly from school seems to be impossible. The train is fairly secure. Our biggest concern is that five minutes between when everyone's off the train and everyone has safely Apparated home. Although unlikely that Voldemort will risk blowing his cover, it's possible someone will try to get them then."

"Harry can easily wear his cloak," Remus suggested.

"But maneuvering with a heavy trunk off a crowded train invisible?" Hestia asked.

We all fell silent, contemplating. Little did we know how futile out discussions would prove to be.

_Hey, all. Not so sorry about updating this time—I've been away on the trip of a lifetime. Here it is though, and reviews, as always, are appreciated._


	18. Arthur Weasley

I went to bed the night before Christmas Eve satisfied and looking forward to a restful vacation. I was woken up at six that morning when a feather appeared in my room with a note. Remus, next to me, snatched it out of the air. We had already learned that he was a much lighter sleeper than me.

"Oh, Merlin." His suddenly frightened tone had me sitting up faster than I thought possible. "_Arthur gravely injured, at St. Mungo's,"_ he read. _"Weasley kids and Harry with Sirius. Signed, AD."_

"That's it?" I said, grabbing for the paper. That was, in fact, all it said. "Arthur was on duty last night, wasn't he?"

"Outside the Department of Mysteries, yeah," Remus agreed. "There weren't any instructions."

"Probably we'll be needed later to take the kids to the hospital," I suggested. "Unless…" I wasn't willing to finish the sentence. Arthur had to stay alive. He had to.

We silently got up and dressed, unwilling to voice our fears. With Sam still sleeping on the couch, we nibbled at some stale cereal and kept glancing towards the window. Around eight, an owl appeared. I vaulted over the window and let it in, only to discover it was from my mom confirming that I'd be there for Christmas dinner. I snorted and looked up to find Remus watching me warily.

"Mum," I told him. "Making sure that I'll be there for Christmas and more hints that she doesn't see me enough." I paused. "What are you doing for the holiday?"

"Well I wasn't expecting to be here for it…I guess I'll go to my aunt over in Kent. I assume my dad will be there."

Remus' dad, someone I had never met but heard much about, had been living alone by the sea ever since his mother had died of cancer seven years ago. Remus described him as a slightly bitter, grizzled old man who never got over the guilt of putting his only child in danger by angering Greyback.

"Nice," I said. A movement from the other room caught my eye. "Any idea what to do with him?"

"Sam?" Remus shook his head. "I suppose I can ask my aunt if I can bring him along. I don't want to leave him alone."

"Me either."

Just then, the feather we had been waiting for arrived in a burst of flame. We both jumped up. I caught it. "_Arthur out of danger_," I read. "Thank Merlin. _Will need one of you to escort kids in two hours. AD."_

Remus sat down hard. "God," he said. If something had happened...all those kids..."

"Don't think about it," I told him, blocking the thought firmly from my mind. "I'll go this afternoon."

He nodded. "How do they sleep at night?" he wondered aloud.

"Hmm?"

"Molly and Arthur. With all those kids depending on them...how do they handle that kind of responsibility, especially in a time like this?"

"Well, I mean, it's not like their kids are helpless-"

"They were babies during the last war," Remus reminded me.

"But what are we fighting for, if not for our children, Remus?"

"Of course for them, but for the ones that are already here. Until we win, how can we bring innocent children into this world?"

I stopped. "Remus, don't you want kids?"

"I-" he began and paused.

"Remus..." I prompted.

He looked up at me, those dark eyes of his troubled. "I never let myself think about that," he admitted. "Werewolves don't usually have kids."

Until that moment, I hadn't actively thought of starting a family with Remus. Hell, until then, marriage and family were words of the distant future. All I knew was that now, I couldn't imagine life without Remus next to me, and when I realized that, marriage and kids followed naturally. I've always wanted kids, of course. Someone to hold and love, someone who depends on me and who I'd guide along their life like Mom guided me. Someone who'd probably eventually rebel from me. In any case, kids had always been a vague part of my life plan.

Something in my face must have changed. He looked at me, concerned. "Dora?"

I shrugged. "I want kids," I heard myself saying.

He looked pained, worried and finally said, "But that's far in the future, right, dear?"

I nodded and smiled, but it felt fake.

* * *

An hour and a half later, the door opened and the group came out. I was on the street of Grimmauld Place, of course, and the kids coming towards me had circles under their eyes but were grinning hugely. Molly looked exhausted but shepherded the children along. We summoned the Knight Bus, unfortunately. I knock things over enough without the additional jolts and stops.

Mad-Eye motioned towards me and I slipped into the seat next to him. In a few short sentences, he summarized the events of the night for me: the snake in the Ministry, Harry's dream that saved Arthur's life, Harry seeing the snake's perspective.

"Harry...was the snake?" I repeated, feeling rather green.

Mad-Eye nodded, his one good eye unusually somber. "He told Sirius himself and Dumbledore under pressure. He seems a bit worried about it."

I nodded, then fell roughly to the floor as we screeched to a halt.

"How you ever passed Auror training, I don't know," Mad-Eye muttered as he helped me up and we got off the bus.

Being such a huge group, we went in in shifts. Harry looked surprised as we walked through the glass. I keep forgetting that he was raised by Muggles.

When we arrived at the door, the family and Harry went in and the Mad-Eye and I stayed out.

"How's that boy of yours?" he asked abruptly.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"Remus," he grunted. "I heard he got back okay."

"Yeah," I said. "Brought a kid with him, too."

"Not his, I hope," Mad-Eye joked.

I winced inwardly, remembering that morning's conversation. "No," I said. "Another werewolf. A teenager kicked out of his house after his bite."

Mad-Eye snorted in disgust. "Idiots," he muttered. "When will they understand that being evil makes people evil, not sometimes looking evil?"

"Soon, I hope," I told him.

He looked at my cynically. "You've heard about Umbridge."

I nodded. He raised one eyebrow at me, then turned back to the door, apparently considering his point made.

We waited in silence a few minutes longer. "They're coming," he announced. Seconds later, the door opened and all the kids trooped out. Mad-Eye and I walked in.

Arthur was sitting up in bed. His arms were heavily bandaged but he seemed in fairly good spirits.

"Hello there, Tonks, Mad-Eye," he called.

"Wotcher, Arthur," I said. "How are you feeling?"

"Well, actually," he replied. "Of course, this thing won't stop bleeding but they've given me enough stuff so it doesn't hurt."

"Wonderful," I said, trying not to stare at the bloodstained cloth.

"So..." Mad-Eye said. "This snake. Potter."

"Dumbledore didn't seem that surprised by it," Molly said. "It's almost like the he's been waiting for something like this to happen."

"It doesn't mean... The boy isn't possessed?"

Molly shook her head vigorously. "No way. It's Harry we're talking about."

"And it's Voldemort we're talking about, Molly," Mad-Eye responded. "Don't be naïve."

"But why would he posses Harry for this?" I asked. "I'm sorry, but Arthur...if he hadn't seen it, you probably wouldn't be here now, and that's more what Voldemort wants. He wouldn't have wanted Harry to see that."

"I agree," Arthur said. "And I'm very grateful he did. It sounds to me more like Harry was possessing the snake."

We paused to let that sink in. "Impossible," Mad-Eye said. "He had no idea what was going on..."

"The kids are waiting for us," Molly said abruptly.

So we trooped out into the hall, where the kids all stood unnaturally quiet, and went home.

_

* * *

Dear all, _

_Sorry if it's a bit rushed. For complicated reasons, I don't have the book in front of me, so if my canon wasn't perfect, my apologies. Let me know what you like, what you don't like, what you feel like saying—I will reply. Next post will in all likelihood not be up anytime soon._

_Love,_

_Me_


	19. Sam I Am

When Sam woke up, Tonks was nowhere to be found and Remus sat at the kitchen table, hastily scribbling on an enormous roll of parchment, splattering ink everywhere. Unwilling to disturb the man who had so quickly become his hero, Sam stayed in the living room, thinking, assessing his situation.

In spite of his bravado, he had nowhere to go. There was an extremely dangerous Dark Wizard on the loose even if the majority of wizarding Britain didn't believe it. The majority of wizarding Britain also believed that Sam himself was very dangerous. He couldn't stay here forever. If he was even sure he wanted to stay. Sam wasn't quite sure what it was about this place, but he hadn't felt this way in a long time. Maybe it had to do with sleeping indoors after months in the woods, or the long showers he was able to take. It wasn't an entirely comfortable feeling. Something was off.

After more introspection than the young werewolf had indulged in since the first days after his flight, he finally identified his feelings. Sam felt safe, and he didn't know what do with himself. Safe? What did that even mean?

A loud grumble interrupted his speculation. Momentarily startled, he decided it was time to intrude on the kitchen if his stomach couldn't keep its opinions to itself. _I'm being spoiled by these steady meals, _he told himself ruefully. His mere presence in the doorway was enough to make Remus look up. "Oh, Sam," he said. "Good morning." He glanced at his watch. "Or rather, good afternoon." His eyes narrowed slightly. "You must be hungry."

"A bit, yeah," Sam admitted. Remus rummaged around in the cabinets before tossing Sam an apple, "She really ought to go shopping," he commented.

Sam shrugged.

"C'mon, sit down," Remus said, returning to his seat. Sam slipped into the seat across from him.

"Since you're here anyway, I'd like to talk to you..."

Sam felt a lump of apprehension rise in his throat, reminding him suddenly of sitting in Professor McGonagall's office after a particularly foolish action exploit. _This is it then. I'm going to have to leave._

"What do you want, Sam?" Remus asked. The question was so far from his expectations he merely blinked at first.

"Want?" he asked.

"Yeah. Do you want to stay here? Is there somewhere you'd rather be? Something you want to do?"

"I...don't know. I guess I want to help fight You-Know-Who but...I mean, even if we won, they still probably wouldn't accept me,"

Remus sighed and didn't bother trying to dispute the claim, his own life being proof enough. "We want you to be safe and happy, Sam, I just don't think the couch here is a good place to spend the rest of your life."

"Do you..." He swallowed. "Do you want me to leave? I will, you know. Just say it and I'm outta here."

He stood up, his chair screeching on the floor.

Remus said nothing.

"Okay, I get it, You don't want me. I'm gone." He disappeared into the other room, shoving his few belongings into the small rucksack on the floor, trying to ignore the growing pit in his stomach. A shadow fell over his stuff and he looked up. Remus stood in the doorway. Sam straightened, his bag in his hand.

"I'm sorry," the older werewolf said. "Please...I didn't mean you shouldn't stay. I just...Sam, do you actually want to spend your life here, hiding out in someone else's house?"

"No," Sam said harshly. "I don't. I want to do something. Anything. I'll move to America or Australia, I don't care."

"Sam-"

The front door opened and both werewolves turned instinctively.

"Wotcher, all, I'm home," Tonks said, her shoulder-length pink hair bouncing as she locked the door behind her. She turned and took in the scene. "Uh...I seem to have walked in on something."

Neither man said anything. "I'll take that as a yes, then."

"How's Arthur?" Remus asked hastily.

"Alive, awake, alert and enthusiastic," she replied.

Sam saw the way they looked at each other and thought with a pang of his Abby before repressing the thought, as he always did when something reminded him of her. Her rejection had hurt even more than that of the parents he had already been pushing away.

"Well. That's good news." Remus said. Sam thought he was only talking to fill the silence.

"What's going on?" she asked, refusing to be taken off topic.

Sam exchanged a glance with Remus, silently challenging him to explain.

Remus sighed, his shoulders slumped. "Sam wants to leave," he said dully. "I'm trying to convince him not to go."

"Oh, Sam..." she said, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder.

He shrugged her off. Kindness was something he could barely deal with. Pity was something he refused to face. "I can take care of myself," he said, hoping it was true. "I can't be cooped up in here."

"You remind me of my cousin," Tonks said. "He hates it too."

Sam didn't want pity. He glanced from one adult to the other, both looking at him pleadingly. "I just...Okay. I'll stay for another day. But not longer!"

"Thanks, Sam," Remus said quietly. "That means a lot to me."

Sam sat down heavily on the couch as the other two went into the other room to discuss more of their secret stuff. _Or maybe to snog. Or talk about me, _he thought cynically.

_What am I going to do with myself?_

_**My dearest darlingest readers, I humbly beseech you for forgiveness in the delay of this chapter. The next one will probably also be delayed. Kinda like my train. **_

_**My plot bunny eats reviews. They give her energy to give me more ideas. Just saying.**_


	20. Question Answered

_Er...hi there? Yeah, I'm alive. Shocking, I know. Anyway, it may have been at long last, but here it is:_

_And if I owned it, it clearly wouldn't have taken this long to update because I would have been getting paid truckloads for it._

* * *

_Previously:_

_Sam didn't want pity. He glanced from one adult to the other, both looking at him pleadingly. "I just...Okay. I'll stay for another day. But not longer!"_

_"Thanks, Sam," Remus said quietly. "That means a lot to me."_

_Sam sat down heavily on the couch as the other two went into the other room to discuss more of their secret stuff. _Or maybe to snog_. _Or talk about me_, he thought cynically._

What am I going to do with myself?

* * *

On the other side of the closed door, Remus gently brushed his fingers against my cheek. I caught them in my mouth and bit down lightly.

"Hey!" He pulled away, grinning. I laughed as his other arm encircled my shoulders and pulled me closer. His stubble tickled.

"We don't _really _have time for this," I whispered regretfully, twirling one of his curls around my finger.

"No?" he replied, his lips touching mine.

"No," I answered between playful kisses. "It's about...Harry."

"Harry?" He pulled away, startled.

I sighed and sat down. "You might want to sit down, too. This is kinda shocking."

Remus paled, but he sat down next to me, reaching for my hand.

"I'm not sure how to say this...Well, let's start at the beginning. Arthur-"

"Arthur? What does Arthur have to do with Harry?"

"If you let me finish, you'd know," I said. "Arthur was attacked by You-Know-Who's snake."

"Nagini?"

"Yeah. Well, we only found out about it in time because Harry had a...dream. A vision."

"Of Nagini attacking Arthur?" Remus asked, puzzled.

"Not exactly. In his vision..." I took a deep breath. "In his vision, Harry _was_ the snake."

Remus blinked uncomprehendingly. "Harry..._was_ the snake?" He swallowed hard. "He's not—he's not being _possessed_, is he?" He stood up and began pacing, wand somehow in his hand. "I swear, if Voldemort's possessing James' son, I'll-"

"Destroy him? Too late, you're already doing that." I moved to his side and hugged my Remus tightly. "We don't think he was being possessed," I assured him. "After all, if he hadn't seen this, Arthur would probably be..."

Remus nodded. "Then what...?"

"I have no idea," I said. "But Dumbledore does. It''ll be okay."

"You don't know that." He pulled away.

I sighed. "Well, right this minute it's okay, and I can think of better things for you to do with your mouth than make cynical, depressing comments."

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Like this." I pushed him. He stumbled back, startled, until I had him pinned against the wall where I kissed him, hard. He responded hesitantly at first but slowly gained confidence. "Get this damn thing off," I ordered, tugging at his shirt.

He obeyed. My kisses, rapidly turning into bites, progressed downwards and we moved as one, never relinquishing our hold on the other, towards the bed. Still entwined, shivering as his hands slid smoothly under my shirt, he leaned back onto the bed with me right on top. "Oh, God," he gasped. I sat up, looking down at him.

"Don't stop," he begged. I drew circles on his chest with my fingernail. He closed his eyes and bit his lip. "Dora! Please..."

I laughed, drunk with desire and power. "How much do you want me right now?" I teased.

"So much..." he moaned.

"Promise me you'll never leave me."

His eyes flickered open and met mine. "I'll never leave you," he promised.

* * *

Sometime later, tired, we curled up together and talked.

"What are we going to do with Sam?" Remus asked.

I sighed. "I wish I knew. Remus, I can't throw him out, but he can't stay here."

"I know."

"Do you think he _could, _y'know, help the Order?"

"If you mean is he capable, yeah, I think so. He's certainly good in a fight, both magic and physical."

"But he's still a kid. Can we justify sending a kid to battle?"

"He's of age," Remus argued. "I don't think we can stop him."

"I'll mention it to Dumbledore when I see him," I decided.

"Let's ask him what he wants," Remus suggested.

"I just don't want to make him feel unwanted."

"Me either.

We paused and looked at each other. I pushed that pesky curl out of his face and giggled.

"What?" he demanded.

I pointed. "You're going to have to do something about those..." Half a dozen small hickeys decorated his upper body, at least two of them visible even with a shirt on.

He looked at me, exasperated, pulled out his wand, and tapped each bite. They disappeared.

"Awww," I said. He raised an eyebrow. "I kinda liked them...maybe I should give you a couple more?"

He laughed. "I think I'm okay for now, sweetheart. " He leaned in and nibbled gently on my lower lip.

Suddenly, a most unwelcome sound interrupted our activities. The doorbell was not quite as unwelcome as a Death Eater attack would have been, but it was rather unwelcome nonetheless.

"Damn," I exclaimed, standing up shakily and glancing around for my shirt before Summoning it, readjusting my bra, pulling the shirt on, shortening my no-longer messy hair with a pop, and looking around to see Remus still searching for his shirt.

"Uh...Tonks?" Sam called, no doubt wondering what the proper etiquette was, with someone still knocking at the door and the hostess in dishabille.

"Coming!" I called. "How do I look?" I asked Remus.

"Decent," he said, and I hurried out towards the door.

"Who's there?"

"Alastor Moody," the gruff voice of my mentor responded.

_Make sure it's really him,_ inner voice advised. I paused. If it were really him, he'd kill me for not checking. If it weren't him, whoever it was would probably kill me. I'd die either way.

"How did we meet?" I asked.

"You tripped over me rushing to your first Auror class, which you were running late for and which I was teaching," he responded correctly. "And what were we learning in that class?"

"Constant vigilance," I answered. "Never trust anybody." I tugged on the door, but it was held closed on the other side.

"We learned that every class," he grunted. "You should be able to do better than that."

"You Summoned a note someone had passed calling you a paraniod curmudgeon, embarrassed the hell out of him, and impressed us with the lesson of never, ever writing down anything that we wouldn't want on the front page of the Daily Prophet." Next to me, Remus stifled a snort and across the room, Sam grinned openly. Mad-Eye grunted, "You can let me in now."

I let him in. He stomped (Mad-Eye never walks) into the front area. "Wotcher, Mad-Eye," I said. He nodded to me and Remus.

"Is something wrong?" Remus asked, a reasonable question considering the dangerous times.

"The whole damn country has something wrong with it, but no, nothing in particular," Mad-Eye grumbled. (Mad-Eye never just talks).

"Then to what to we owe the pleasure of your company?" I asked.

Instead of answering, Mad-Eye stomped over to the couch, where Sam still sat, quietly watching. "This the boy you picked up?" he growled at Remus.

"No, he's a stray I picked up off the street," I interjected sarcastically. Mad-Eye always brings out my sarcastic side.

Mad-Eye, his magical eye still fixed disturbingly on Sam, gave me a very dirty look.

"Yes, he is," Remus said hastily, giving me a look that, while not quite as dirty, was certainly reproachful.

"What's his name?" Mad-Eye asked.

"My name is Sam." We all looked at the teenage werewolf. "I am right here, you know."

Mad-Eye chuckled. "I just came from Hogwarts," he told us. "Dumbledore."

We waited.

"I told him I needed an extra set of hands. He told me he had a teenager who needed a home. We thought, why not?"

Remus moved closer to Sam, probably unconsciously. I just looked at Sam. His shoulders had stiffened slightly and the mask he had maintained whenever I tried to get him to open up was firmly in place. In short, I had no idea what he was thinking.

"Don't feel pressured to say yes," Remus said hurriedly. "It's entirely up to you."

Sam nodded slowly, closely examining some spot on the wall. "What would I be doing?"

Mad-Eye shrugged. "Be my shadow. Inspect confiscated Dark artifacts. Hunt for more. Follow clues to find Death Eater hideouts."

"Combat?" Next to me, Remus flinched.

"Only after you've proven to me that you're not going to get your ass kicked and stop guarding mine. Then...we'll see."

Sam nodded again, his long hair bouncing with the movement. Remus and I exchanged a glance, and we all looked back at the teenager.

He swallowed. "Remus, can I talk to you alone for a second?"

"Sure," Remus replied. I could tell without looking at him that he was gratified that Sam had asked. They walked into the other room. I could hear the concern in Remus's low murmur and the uncertainty in Sam's, but the words were unclear.

"So," I said to Mad-Eye, "Anything new and exciting in your life?"

Mad-Eye looked at me grimly. "Nymphadora Tonks, you had better not be attempting what is commonly known as 'small talk'. There is nothing small about the seriousness of the world, and words should not be wasted."

I held up my hands in surrender, and we spent the next few minutes in awkward silence. At least, I thought it was awkward. I'm not sure Mad-Eye has enough social sensibility to ever feel awkward. Soon, though, Remus and Sam came back in.

"I'll do it," Sam said.

Mad-Eye smiled. It looked rather twisted and probably appeared in Alecto Carrow's nightmares, but then, it's the thought that counts, right?

"Let me just gather up my stuff." Sam didn't have very much stuff to gather: A few clothes, a battered sleeping bag, and of course his wand. I tried to have a quick eye conversation with Remus.

_What did he want to ask you_? I asked.

_Advice,_ he responded unhelpfully with a shrug. Eye conversations are notoriously unreliable.

Soon Sam was ready to leave. _Too soon,_ Remus's eyes said. Sam, his pack slung over his shoulder, brushed his hair out of his eyes and nodded to me. "Thanks for letting me live here, Tonks," he said. Then he turned to Remus and held out his hand. Remus took it, but then pulled him into a tight hug. "Take care of yourself," he ordered.

"Thanks for everything, Remus," Sam whispered. For a moment, his mask faltered and I saw the young, nervous boy beneath that tough exterior. "You showed me that even a werewolf can be a good person." His eyes widened in horror. "The moon!" he gasped, turning towards Mad-Eye. "I can't be with you on the full moon."

Mad-Eye waved this complication away. "I already prepared for that. CONSTANT VIGILANCE!" he yelled. Sam and Remus jumped. I had been prepared for the shout since he had walked through my door. I had been, one could say, constantly vigil for that shout.

"I've got a safe room and plenty of access to Wolfsbane. No worries," he continued. "You coming?"

Sam smiled weakly at Remus and followed Mad-Eye out the door. As they left, I distinctly heard Mad-Eye say, "Under no circumstances should you ever put your wand in you back pocket, boy! Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!"

* * *

_You know what would make me really happy?_

_World peace._

_Barring that, a review would be nice too. Also, I'm thinking of changing the name of this story. Any ideas?_


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